Page 145 of The Same Flesh
“You’re the same Kai Butler who fooled around with Scott Taylor.You’re the same Kai Butler who knew what he wanted, and nothing his stepdad could do changed it.So, high school drama.And makeup.And getting to dress up.And when you were older, when you could sneak away, clubs and bars where no one would know you.”He hesitated.“Was that how drag felt?You could be the person you wanted to be?”
“Stop talking,” Kai said.
“You want everyone to think that you’re different now.Just like you tried to convince Zeb that he was different.Just like you tried to blame Rydel.But you’re not different, are you?If all you wanted was Daniel, you could have taken him months ago.You like being here.You like dressing up.You like getting to be someone else, someone you wish you could be.You want it.”
“Stop talking!”
“And you’re scared of what you want, so then you find someone you can hurt.You kill the things you want.But you still want them, don’t you?Is that who you were hurting when you tortured those people?Yourself?The part you can’t kill?The part you can’t get away from?”
“I said shut up!”Kai gave an abortive slash with the knife.“I’m helping them!I’m making them better!”
“No, you’re not.You hurt them.And then you killed them.And you enjoy it.In part, because you’re a sadist.And in part, because you want to hurt that part of yourself.But do you know why I think you really do it?”Tean wet his lips, but the superheated air stole the moisture away again an instant later.“You’re still a little boy looking at dirty photos and playing with yourself.”
Kai’s howl wasn’t a wolf’s howl—it was a man’s cry, unhinged.He lunged at Tean.
Daniel darted into his path.His hand streaked up the way Tean had seen him do dozens of times with Jem, their silly slap game.The blow connected, and Kai staggered and shook his head.Daniel was panting, his cheeks pink, his face shiny with firelight.He stepped forward, fist cocked for a punch this time.
And Kai backhanded him hard enough to send the boy stumbling across the room.He hit one of the sofas, and his legs went out from under him, and he lay on the floor.Someone screamed—Justin, Tean thought—and then he caught a whiff of urine as one of the children voided themselves.
Smoke made Tean cough, and the crackle of the fire was louder now—so loud that it seemed like it was coming from inside him, like the flames had taken up residence inside his head.The heat was a living thing, pulsing, pressing, withdrawing: hot, heavy nails on the side of his face.
“Let them go,” Tean said.“They’re children.If you want to purify someone, you can purify me.”
Kai swung his head, and the gesture was uncannily canine.From within the mask, those little broken mirrors stared back at Tean.He turned the knife in his hand.
“Let them go,” Tean said again.“Let them—”
“You can’t tell me what to do!”Kai screamed.“I’m not your son!”
He lunged at Tean again, and this time, there was no Daniel.Kai came across the turret room in a pair of quick steps, the hand with the knife drawing back.For Tean, everything seemed to slow.The snapping heat of the fire drew back.The hollowness in his head beat like a drum.Every eddy of air seemed visible in the thickening haze.
Kai’s hand shot forward.The blade turned yellow as it caught the light of the inferno.
And Tean did what he’d seen Jem and Daniel do a hundred times in their backyard: he pivoted, trapped Kai’s arm under his own, and stuck out one foot.Kai’s momentum did the rest of the work.Unable to change course, unable to catch himself, he tripped and fell.He crashed face-first into the floor and slid into an old armchair tucked up against the window.
“Go!”Tean shouted to the stunned children.He shoved the armchair, and it toppled over on top of Kai.“Go!”
He scrambled for the knife, but the children huddled together, not moving.Then Daniel was there, shoving Justin toward one of the windows, grabbing a girl by the hand.“There’s a way out onto the roof,” he yelled over his shoulder.
It took a moment of struggle, and then one of the windows slid open.Fresh air rushed into the room, cold and sweet.Daniel helped Justin through first, and then, from the other side, Justin steadied the others as they came out onto the worn asphalt shingles.Kai was starting to stir, his groaning barely audible over the growing sound of the flames.Tean adjusted his grip on the knife.
“Come on!”Daniel shouted.
The other children were already gone, and Daniel waited alone by the window.Tean circled the room, keeping his eyes on Kai.The wolfman pushed himself upright.He’d lost his mask, and the lower half of his face was covered in blood.A broken nose, maybe.A split lip.He stared back at Tean.
“Go,” Tean said when he reached Daniel.
“But he’s—”
“Now!”
Daniel shimmied through the window.
Tean watched Kai.Waited for the rush.The attack.
The flames, fed by the draft of fresh air, howled.Somewhere in the house, glass exploded.Light and shadow danced across Kai.
And Tean saw the boy.Only for a moment, but he was there.Before he had become the man.
