Page 40 of The Monster I Am
I had managed to find an empty classroom for us to sneak into to watch the Tiktok live but anyone could open the door and catch us in here.
Pausing, I actually start to consider the idea, realizing how little I care about being busted. I’m firmly in my malicious compliance phase and it should make me sick how much joy it brings to imagine my father’s face if something like that ever got back to him.
How flushed would he get? I bet we could discover a new shade of red and pop a blood vessel.
“It’s starting!” Bexley squeals, snapping her legs shut suddenly as she launches forward to get closer to the screen.
I growl under my breath, retrieving my hand. “Mean.”
Grinning, she leans over and places a peck on my lips. “Plenty of time for that later. But I’m too tired to deal with cranky Rylan if you miss the announcement. Pay attention,” she directs, wiggling her finger in a motion for me to turn around.
My small chuckle is drowned out as the band appears with their signature black and cyan banner in the background.
“Wow,” I murmur, wonderstruck. “They are really going all out with this new era.”
Their instruments are decked out in the new neon green and black steampunk style they revealed a few weeks back, and whenthe band’s lead vocalist steps in front of the camera, I feel Bexley gravitate closer to me in anticipation.
“Alright, Dragonettes. Are you ready to fuck shit up? We have a surprise for you, and if you hang around, a little encore treat.”
Bexley gasps. “Another new song!” she squeaks excitedly. “Fuck yes.”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice. I’ve got a countdown timer set on my phone’s home screen—just four more days until the new album drops. Bexley and I have been clawing at the little teasers, downing them like we’ve been wandering the desert for days, desperate for any drop of water.
Lawless Dragons start playing, the punk rock vibes hitting hard and giving us both goosebumps. Ripping my gaze away from the screen, I find myself looking at Bex, wanting to watchherreaction.
And it’s just as beautiful as I expected.
Her wide eyes are sparkling, glued to the screen as pure happiness radiates across her whole face. It actually steals my breath away in an instance, captivated by the sight.
It’s easily the happiest I’ve ever seen her. And I get to see that and share this moment with her.
Before now, I never knew it was possible to experience nirvana just from witnessing someone’s happiness.
“Bex,” I say softly, heart missing a beat entirely when she pulls her gaze from the screen to look at me. Her expression doesn’t shift, that bliss now reflecting atme.
“Yeah?” She asks, voice husky and light.
There’s no going back now. The moment is too perfect, and I can’t stop myself even if I wanted to.
“I love you.”
Bexley glitches for a quick second, rapidly blinking as Lawless Dragons play in the background. “What did you say?” She whispers.
“I love you, Bex,” I repeat firmly, letting it show across my face so that she can see how serious I am.
Her breathing hitches, eyes becoming slightly unfocused as her brain processes the situation.
Okay—perhaps I could have planned this moment a little better. But fuck it. We’re here now.
Surprise to both of us.
I start to worry when she doesn’t say or do anything, but I don’t push. We’re too alike for our own good. The best thing I can do is let her have the time she needs, give her equal control.
Because this shit is vulnerable.
I’d be lying if I saidIwasn’t terrified. But at least I had some prior warning. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, and I’d been waiting for the perfect moment to confess my feelings. But Bexley has just had the world’s biggest revelation sprung on her, so it’s natural she’s working through some things.
“I… uh,” she murmurs, trailing off as her face contorts with disbelief and astonishment, mashed with the earlier happiness that’s still etched into her features.
