Page 10 of Duchess Needed
It had been a few days since the duke’s visit and with her wedding looming, Phoebe could feel herself growing increasingly nervous about what the future held for her. However, she could hardly focus on that feeling because she was also quite worried about Anna.
Ever since she had been told about the duke’s proposal, Anna had been acting strangely. Phoebe had momentarily feared that perhaps she was upset because Phoebe had somehow ended up with a husband when they had been trying to find her one, and she had clarified that Anna had been the sole reason why she approached the duke in the first place, as well as why she had accepted his proposal.
That had not worked though and as time passed, the more disconcerting the gap between them grew.
“Anna?” Phoebe called out, waiting until Anna was facing her before she continued. “Are you all right? You seem rather... distracted, lately.”
Anna frowned and turned away. “I am fine.”
Phoebe huffed, willing herself to be patient. She set the catalogue aside, and shuffled closer to her sister, softening her voice before she spoke up.
“Anna, I can tell something is bothering you. I might not be able to help, but I can listen –”
“Why? Do you not have better things to do? Your wedding is only three days away. Surely there are other more important things to invest your time in, than worrying about me.” Anna huffed in protest, as an angry blush settled over her cheeks.
“Do not say that,” Phoebe scolded, momentarily wincing at the way her heart hurt in the face of her sister’s upset expression. “There is nothing more important to me than this family. And there will never be. You and Rowland are my world and I am doing this for our family. For you – because your happiness and peace are my priority. So... please. Talk to me, darling sister. Share whatever burdens lay heavy on your heart.”
Anna remained silent for a bit and Phoebe thought her words had not gotten through to her at all. Then the girl sniffed sadly, turning to face Phoebe with tears in her eyes.
“I-I feel as though I failed you both,” she admitted sadly, wiping away her tears before she continued. “I had a single duty to our family and I still couldn’t manage. All my life, you and Rowland have gone above and beyond in an effort to provide for me. You have both contributed endlessly to our finances and the household, ensuring that I would grow up comfortably enough. You have overseen my lessons in an effort to ensure that I was able to receive some form of formal education and training. And finally, it was my turn to do something good in return for all that you have contributed. I hoped to find a beneficial match and be useful to the family finally — but I still wasn’t able to do that. To make matters worse, I couldn’t make up for my mistake. I just feel… worthless. And sad. You shouldn’t have to take on my burden and give your life away in an effort to save me. It’s not fair —”
“Anna,” Phoebe hushed her gently, reaching out to cup her face gingerly. “Please do not say such things. I would give up much more if it meant you were all right. Rowland and I took care of you not because we were obligated to do so, but because we arefamily. We want the best for one another. And as such, if there was any way we could spare you from the difficulties of life, we want that for you. I really did try to convince the duke to marry you, because I knew that at the very least, you would be able to live a much more comfortable life than what we were able to offer. But I do not regret how things turned out, because at least I was able to make up for what I was unable to do previously. If I had been able to obtain a match that was even half as decent as this, things might have been different. I am glad that I was able to get a second chance to do better for you. It is all right, Anna. Do not worry about me. I know that you cannot help it, but I do hope you let go of that guilt you feel. You did your best and we are very proud of you. Now, no more crying. Use that strength to think of how you’ll be able to live out your days happy and content.”
Anna laughed with a sniffle, allowing Phoebe to wipe her tears away and the older sister could not help but marvel at how much things had changed over the years, yet their dynamic still remained the same.
Anna was still soft-hearted and sweet, still so fragile and deserving to be protected from all the ails of the world. And Phoebe was going to do whatever it took to protect her. They fell into each other’s arms moment later and Phoebe tried to soak up as much of her sister’s warmth as she could, knowing that very soon, she would have to live without it.
When they pulled apart, Anna sat up straighter, her eyes bright for the first time in a while as she spoke,
“Can I ask? About the Duke… what was he like?”
Phoebe exhaled, wondering what she could say that could encompass everything she knew and thought about her husband-to-be.
“Well… he’s certainly different from what I expected. He seems responsible and smart at least —”
“Those are the boring qualities! Is he as handsome as they say?” Anna pressed eagerly.
“That is hardly important —”
“Perhaps, but between your looks and his, your children are quite certain to be lovely, no?”
Phoebe sighed, wishing she had learned not to indulge Anna so much at an early age.
“Well… I suppose I could say he appears… charming. His face is mostly pleasant to look at.”
Anna scrunched her nose up in distaste, glaring at Phoebe cooly, clearly unimpressed. Phoebe smiled innocently and picked up the catalogue to continue planning for her wedding.
It was strange, how she had long since given up on having one and now she had to prepare for it. There was a part of her thatgrew solemn whenever she remembered that her parents would not be there and given that she and her siblings barely had any relatives or friends, she could imagine the ceremony would not have a lot of people present.
From her side at least.
With a deep sigh, she attempted to refocus her attention on what needed to be done, but then she noticed Anna fidgeting and glanced at her.
“Is something the matter?” Phoebe asked immediately.
“Ah, well… I suppose I’ve just been wondering about marriages lately. While I do not miss Lord Brightwood — not after what he’s done — I keep imagining what would have happened if we had gotten married. If he wasn’t such a rake, that is. I don’t feel regretful or anything of the sort. I just… planning your wedding has me envisioning what that day would have been like. What the ceremony would have been like, hoe it would have felt to stand across from my husband and feel good about what lay ahead of us. And then there is the matter about what come after…”
She trailed off suddenly, blinking up at Phoebe as though she expected her to complete her train of thought.
