Page 18 of After the Knockout
“KO . . .”
“You know what’s crazy?” He stepped closer again. “I spent years thinking the setup was the part that fucked me up most.” My breathing slowed. “But it wasn’t even that. It was waking up and realizing you left too. My whole life, motherfuckers been deciding they ain’t wanna stay around,” he muttered. “Then your ass came in, acting like I finally had somebody solid . . .”
Pain climbed into my throat so fast I could barely breathe through it. I knew about KO’s trauma. We’d spent many days bonding over our abandonment issues. I knew his parents had abandoned him at birth. I knew how it had affected him. I never wanted to be associated with that pain.
“KO . . .” My eyes burned instantly. “I thought me leaving was protecting you.”
“You made another choice for me.” His voice sharpened slightly. “That’s all you been doing since you walked into my life.”
I dropped my head. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about the version of events that kept me in Azalea County by his side. I stepped closer to him on autopilot. It was like my body needed to be closer.
“Dakota.” I closed the space between us. My fingers brushed his arm, and he went still like my touch had turned him into stone.
“Don’t,” he said. His eyes snapped back to mine. “Don’t play yourself.”
I dropped my hand fast, like I’d just touched fire. For a second, neither of us said anything. We just stood there, breathing the same air. There was so much I wanted to say. Itook another step toward him. My breasts bumped up against his chest as Dakoda shifted in his sleep behind us. Both of our heads turned, and KO looked past me for half a second, then back at me.
“The only reason you still standing right here talkin’ to me,” he said low, “is ’cause of him. Don’t get that twisted.”
He stepped back, creating space like he needed it to breathe, but I moved with him. The candlelight shook between us, and I could hear every breath I took. I could hear his too, and for a second, everything in me remembered us before everything. I remembered the way an argument used to turn into his dick in the back of my throat, and then all was well. I dropped my eyes, and then my hand brushed the waistband of his shorts. My hand dipped inside his shorts before I even realized what I was doing.
“Nah.” His hand gripped mine.
“I wasn’t—” Heat climbed up my neck, and I pulled my hand back.
“I know what you were doing, and I ain’t goin’.”
My lips parted. Did I know what I was doing? For a second, neither of us moved. Just stared at each other. Then Dakoda sighed in his sleep, and the spell broke. KO stepped away first. Good. If he hadn’t, I wasn’t sure I would have. He grabbed the flashlight again and angled it toward the floor.
“Get some rest,” he said as he made his way to the other side of the room. The dismissal stung more than it should have, but I deserved it. I made my way back over to the couch and sat back down beside Dakoda.
I joined him in the blanket because, obviously, I needed a time out. My eyes stayed on KO. I had built a whole life around his absence . . . and now that he was right in front of me, I didn’t know where I fit in it.
“Stop lookin’ at me like that,” he muttered, not even turning around as he crossed the room. His shoulders stayed tight. “Ain’t nothing over here for you.”
He stepped up to the heavy punching bag and hit it. He hit it so hard he made the chain rattle. I should’ve looked away. Should’ve turned over, pulled the blanket up, closed my eyes. But I couldn’t look away. All I could do was watch him hit that bag until my eyes finally gave out and I drifted off to sleep.
The storm was beating the hell out of the building, hard enough to make the floor shake under my Timbs. We were definitely in it now. Hurricane Imani had officially touched down. I sat up in the recliner I’d ended up in after doing several rounds on the punching bag, trying to work Lyrius out of my system. That shit didn’t work. Not really. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her and Dakoda.Damn!I had a son by the one woman who had wrecked me.
I gazed around the room. It was still dark. The little tealight candles Lyrius had dug out of her bag earlier were barely holding on. I looked down at my phone for the time. It was barely early morning, three-thirty. I dragged a hand down my face, lookedup, and Dakoda was standing right there next to my chair. He was quiet as hell, just watching me.
“You good?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“It’s loud.” Right on cue, another gust slammed against the building.
“Yeah,” I muttered. “Hurricane is here.”
“Are we going to die?”
I glanced at him. Seeing him so afraid did something to me. It made me want to protect him.
“Come here.” I stood immediately and held my hand out. “Ain’t nobody going to die today. We good inside this building.”
He nodded his head like he understood every word I had said and trusted it. The way he just took my word for it like I was supposed to be the one he could trust had me feeling a way. I didn’t know what to do with that. I lifted him onto my hip and carried him further away from the windows before sitting down on the weight bench with him still tucked against my chest. He looked up at me carefully, like he was checking if I was lying. I realized then that kids always knew when adults were full of shit.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. We good in here.” Another loud boom shook the building, and he pressed closer into me automatically.
