Page 130 of It's About Time
When he rests his forehead on mine, dizziness assaults me because those words are the last ones I ever imagined hearing from him. “The boys and I made that stupid pact, remember?”
“I swear, that fucking pact should never have been made…”
Hislaughter surrounds me as he pulls me into him more. “Agreed, but here’s the thing, Dilynne. I don’t know that you and I ever would have worked back then.”
I lift my head up to see his eyes. “So what isthis?”
“Thisis how it was supposed to be. Us now—older, wiser, more willing to put in the work. I sure as hell know that back then, I wouldn’t have appreciated you the way I do now. After my grandparents died, I wasn’t a big fan of relationships, remember?”
“Holy shit,” I whisper as the past few minutes replay in my head.
“But I truly am sorry,” he continues. “I totally get why you acted the way you did toward me now.”
I take a step back from him, wrapping my arms around my body tighter because even though he’s apologizing, I don’t think he understands the magnitude of how he affected me. “You made me question myself, Elliot. It wasn’t just the words that you said, it was how they impacted me. I knew I was going to struggle with the career that I chose, but…” I let out a heavy sigh. “It was the first time I think I ever learned that our words carry weight, and yours settled on my chest and fed into one of my worst fears.”
His eyes lock onto mine. “Which is?” I shake my head at him, keeping my lips closed. He grows frustrated. “What is your worst fear, Dilynne?”
“No. You don’t get that from me yet.”
His voice rises with irritation. “How am I supposed to fix this then?”
“I don’t know that you can!” I shout back at him, fully letting the truth out.
Shaking his head, he plants his hands on his hips. “So, you finally admit why you’ve hated me all these years, but you aren’t willing to let me fix it?”
Myeyes start to leak again, so I give him my back. “God, I knew this was a mistake.”
In a flash, his chest collides with my back. “No. You and me arenota mistake. Do you hear me?” His chin rests on my shoulder, but he lets me cry for a minute before he speaks again. “You make me want to be a better man, Dilynne. And do you know why?” His question rests between us, but I don’t answer. “Because ofyourwords.”
I turn to look at him over my shoulder. “What?”
“Your words, your heart…” He cups my cheek as he guides me to spin around to face him. “Every time you called me an asshole, I took it in. I was an asshole, the anger I carried around from my own stupidity. But you made me see that what happened wasn’t my fault.”
“I was just tired of looking at your grumpy ass.”
I can feel his chest bounce with laughter. “And see? That. Your humor. Fuck, you make me laugh—even at a time when I felt like I’d never laugh again. But your actions mattered more to me than your words. I mean, you fucking sprayed me with a hose and took me to a junkyard to beat up a car when you didn’t fucking have to, Dilynne. You…you helped me in a way I can never repay you for.”
“I just…” A heavy breath leaves my chest.
“You proved above all else that our actions are much louder than our words. I can’t take back what I said, Dilynne. I know you can trust me with your body, but your heart is still fighting to catch up, isn’t it?” I nod. “Okay then. I’ll just keep showing up and proving it to you, sweetheart. That is, if you’ll let me?”
What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
I close my eyes as he encases me in his arms. “This is a lot, Elliot.”
“I get it. So for now, let’s get dressed, go get some food, and pick up your gauges. We don’t even have to spend the night here if you don’t want to. I’ll drive you back tonight so you can get straight to work on the Porsche if that’s what you want.”
Lifting my head, I peer up at him. “You would do that?”
“I would. I have a lot to make up for, it seems. And I can start knocking off that list tonight. If you want me to.”
We have over an hour left until we have to meet up with the guy that has my gauges, but then something dawns on me. “I thought you were going to fuck me four times before then.”
His brow lifts. “That was before.”
“Before what?”
“Before I realized that being there for you in this way is far more important, and obviously it’s the only way I can get you to see whatever is happening between us isn’t fake. So that’s what I’m going to do.”
