Page 187 of Heart Held Hostage By a Hitta
I didn’t respond, and my heart leapt into my throat. I could practically feel it pumping away, making it thud in my ears loudly as I tried to pull myself together. Falling back in the chair, I released a saddened sigh. I was feeling some kind of way about it all. Nothing was the same, and I had no idea when it would feel right again.
“All this time, it felt like I was doing the right thing. Coming here, doing what I love. Don’t get me wrong; I love it here. It’s beautiful. The twins are in a great daycare with very attentive workers that read to them and sing. It’s pretty magical. But I get these quiet nights alone, and my mind can’t help but wander. I think about Ivy all the time.” Tears stung my eyes, and Celine’s filled with empathy as she tilted her head to one side. “And Free, suddenly he’s acting like he’s just okay with this. He said he loved me and I had his heart, but he barely talks to me. What is going on with him?” Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was almost that time.
“I have to go.” I released a heavy breath.
“I have a feeling that everything will become clear to you soon, sweetheart. I’ll be watching the live stream link you sent. Break a leg,” Celine gushed proudly.
“Thanks.” I grinned. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yes, you will.”
We hung up, and I inspected my reflection one last time. This was it. I’d been busting my ass in rehearsals for months. We were an American school on different land, so the institutionwanted to make a splash. I’d been working on my routine and giving our choreographer ideas, which were being incorporated into the dance. I did the steps in my head for reassurance while pacing with sweaty palms. My pulse raced like I had taken an enhancer when, really, it was just bad nerves. Legs like two tons of concrete, I padded down the hallway of the backstage area to meet up with the rest of the girls. Not sure if it was me or my fucking nerves that had them all side-eyeing me crazily, I made my way to the front of the line.
Rolling my neck to work out any residual kinks, I brought my head to the sky, eyes on the ceiling. A silent prayer recited in my head, and I shook off any bad vibes that tried to take hold of me. I could hear the announcer on stage presenting, and the rest of my mind went blank. It was time. We stepped out onto the darkened stage and got into position. The beat for Brandy’s “Love Again” faded in, and so did the lights. The first lyrics greeted our ears.
I wake from my slumber
I wish I could call you up
Miss how you put your love on me
I didn’t know about anyone else, but the music captivated me, seeping into every crevice of my soul. My eyes closed as I let it carry me away. I didn’t have to look at the other girls; I could feel them all completely in sync with me. This was magic; this was art, and I loved every second of it. Eventually, my body carried me into the routine, and I didn’t even have to think about it. By the end of the track, I was invigorated, and finally, my eyes opened to scope out the audience. Now that it was almost complete, I felt a lot more confident in my moves. I was front and center, and my heart nearly pounded out of my chest whenmy eyes connected to a set of familiar ones seated right in front of me.
The routine was complete, and Frequency was seated, with Ivy right beside him sporting glossy eyes of pride. Beside them sat Celine, giving me a wink while bouncing Misa on her lap. Free held our son in his, and he stared up at me completely awestruck. My heart exploded with so much joy I thought I might pass out from it all.
When the girls around me suddenly drifted apart into a different formation than what I taught them, it threw me off. I watched them circle around me, turn their backs, and then spin around simultaneously. Each of them held a board with a word on it, and did a slight pirouette before lowering themselves to their heels. Standing in order now, when I read what was spelled out, my heart thudded rapidly in my chest.
Harbor, will you marry me?
So simple and sweet. Gasping for air, I turned my back to the crowd. I didn’t know what to think or say in that moment. Overwhelmed with a slew of emotions, I trembled, and my knees wobbled as if they would cave. The chatter and obvious speculation from the audience pulled me out of my trance. When my limbs regained life, my neck swiveled toward the stage entrance. There he stood. His presence might as well have taken up the entire stage. When his eyes struck mine, the rest of the room dissipated, becoming our audience because nothing else mattered. Canvassing every inch of me with appreciation, he inched closer until there was barely a foot between us.
“Free—”
“Let me speak, please. Since the beginning, you’ve always had a lot to say. We both know where this began, and to me… that’s all that matters. The rest of the world would never understand it, and it’s not for them to.” He reached for my hand in his, and my soul poured open instantly.
He didn’t have to utter another word. If I could measure the love he had for me in just one stare, it was abundant and enough to transcend into me for a lifetime. He was my safe place, the haven where I could be me.There was no judgment or assumptions because we knew exactly what was between us.
“But this world, this life, shit don’t make sense without you, Harbor. I haven’t felt like I was home until right now. My world ain’t complete without you in it. So… I know you saw the posters… but… I know that you also need showing and not telling.” He got down on one knee and went into his pocket.
Lifting the lid to the small ring box, he revealed the diamonds on top of diamonds inside. It was circle cut with a rock so big it nearly set me blind, and smaller diamond pieces sprinkled across nearly every inch of the white gold band. It was classic but flashy. I expected nothing less from him, and the image of me wearing it for the rest of my life put me on a high I wasn’t quite prepared for.
“Harbor Lawson, will you marry me?” Frequency proposed.
My eyes closed as I absorbed his hands on me. It brought a tingling sensation with it, stiffening my spine and jolting my heart like a charge was sent directly to it from his touch. Dear God, I didn’t know what I did to deserve this, but I was going all in with my entire heart and existence. These days marriage wasn’t taken seriously. Statistically speaking, most people got married for financial security or some other bullshit. Love hardly ever equated into the mix.
“Yes!” I shrieked, bouncing happily from one foot to the other in front of him. “There is nothing in this world that I want more.”
The ring glided down my finger, and the entire audience roared with applause. Free brought his hands to my face, his alluring orbs connecting to mine.
“I love you, and forever ain’t even enough time to prove that shit to you, but I will spend every day of our lives together trying.”
He didn’t need to say more. I fought the urge every day to come back to him. After the obstacles that made our relationship seem to fall on me waiting for him to make the next move, I thought it was best for a few modifications. He had to know that he could lose me in order to appreciate the value of what he had. It was a hard lesson, and it very well could have not worked out in my favor, but at the end of the day, I still had to live my life and do what was best for me. I was no longer some green little girl seeking approval and validation from any and everybody. I was a woman, and he was my hitta, forever holding my heart hostage.
THE END
