Page 82 of One Winter Knight
“I’ll accept your apology, if you accept mine,” I murmured, my glasses threatening to slide down my nose.
Saoirse gave me a look. “I meant it when I said we can’t do this anymore. You’re a nice guy. A funny, impossible, ridiculous, nice guy–especially for an alpha. But like I said, us as a couple won’t work, and it’s probably better if we stop our clandestinerendezvous.”
I didn’t move and she didn’t push me away. I’d have expected her to put her hand in the center of my chest to shove me. Perhaps even call me adumbfuckor something.
But she didn’t.
“Noted. As much as I enjoy our clandestine rendezvous, I don’t want to push you into anything. I’m sorry if it felt that way. I hope we can still be friends?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hale, Carlos, and Fiona by the bar.
Yes, staying friends with her would be a good thing. Would I rather her be my girlfriend? Yes. But I got it.
Her gaze followed mine. “I think we can do that. I could use a friend that makes me laugh.”
“I make you laugh?” The idea made me giddy with happiness.
She chuckled. “You do. Also, I do love your slutty little glasses.”
“You think they’re slutty?” I waggled my eyebrows, happy I wore my nice glasses. “Carlos says they’re nerd glasses.”
“Carlos isn’t exactly a fashionista.” She laughed.
Kace’s words about issues came back to me, and I stared at her for a long moment.
“Will you tell me about it sometime?” I asked. “The alpha that made you not like alphas? That’s part of what this is, right? There was someone who hurt you, wasn’t there? Well, that, shitty family, and whatever rules your super assassin club has, and probably elements of safety involved with being with a civilian.”
“It’s complicated and there’s a lot involved. Yes, there have been some major alphaholes in my life. It’s easier to think all alphas are arseholes, because I’m less likely to get hurt. You make me challenge that thinking and I don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable.” Her eyebrows furrowed.
That admission made me want to kiss her. But this moment between us was fragile. Not to mention she’d asked for space.
Instead, I nodded slowly. “Thank you so much for telling methat. I appreciate it.”
For a moment, I just looked at her, as I still leaned on the speaker with one arm. Her pale hand came up and made contact with the center of my chest as she pushed me backwards.
“Back off, will you?” she told me, voice not angry.
I took a step back, but more out of respect than the actual force. She’d only pushed me lightly. Though she was capable of more. Saoirse was quite strong and fast.
“Sorry.” Not entirely sorry. “I meant what I said. You’re an amazing person and will make someone very happy one day. You have the right to be happy. I will still eviscerate someone in song for you.”
Who had hurt her? Probably an ex. There was always some asshole alpha ex. Or perhaps an overbearing alpha relative.
Or both.
Her blue eyes seared me. “Thank you for your song. That was the best apology I’ve ever received, even though, as I said, you have no reason to apologize. My reaction was the one that was out of line. I’ll do better, too.”
“That’s all we can do, right? Try to be the best we can be?” I gave her a hopeful look, glad she didn’t actually think I was worthless.
Her look went thoughtful. “Indeed.”
For a moment, the silence hung between us, heavy and thick, a little uncertain, a little hopeful. That knot in my chest, the one that was there at the thought of hurting her, of pushing her, unraveled. I was glad things were good between us once again.
Well, yes I wished it could be more, but I’d be all right with just being friends.
“Well, this looks cozy.” Carlos came over to us, Fiona and Hale in tow.
Even though the club was full of smells, I could tell that they reeked of each other and alcohol, and I wondered what happened when they seemed to have disappeared.
Not that it was any of my business.
