Page 70 of One Winter Knight
There was dominance under the surface that he hid carefully behind charm and silliness. In some ways that was scarier than an outrightly dominant alphahole.
“He told you he loves you? I can see how that might startle you.” She pet my hair like I was a puppy.
“It was worse thanI love you,” I confessed. I told her everything.
“He thought we worked for the government?” Fiona laughed, laying down to face me so we were nose to nose.
“We wouldn’t make nearly as much.” I chuckled. Though we ran into government assassins sometimes. Fiona was friends with some of them. Also, we probably did work for governments, doing what their own people couldn’t do because of politics.
Fiona moved my hair out of my face. “Eviscerating people in song sounds fantastic. Like something you’d hear in a royal court–the musician who mocks people and sings gossip as everyone feasts in the grand hall of the castle.”
“True.” I sighed.
“It was the whole thing about deserving love, wasn’t it?” Fiona bit her lower lip. “You deserve love. It doesn’t matter what your family, your ex, or your former friends say. I mean, I love you.”
“I know you love me, Mo Stóirín.” I stroked her hair. Every day I was grateful. She didn’t understand how she’d literally saved my life.
Fiona kissed me on the nose. “I do.”
“Why does he care for me? How does he care for me? He’s not part of this way of life. It’s not about secrecy or rules. It’s wrapping my head around how someone who makes people happy for a living can love me.” My mouth snapped shut.
It was hard for me to be that vulnerable with anyone. Even Fiona. How could some musician love me, when someone who’d trained beside me my whole life, couldn’t?
“Oh, I see,” she said softly.
“I was too harsh. I shouldn’t have taken out my own past on him like that. I should’ve just fucked him and left. Silence is better.” Guilt filled me.
Fiona looked at me. “That’s not a healthy way of dealing with things. I’m sure he didn’t mean to trigger you. He seems like a really nice guy, and I’d love to see him onstage, singing some song that mocks your sister and your fucking ex, maybe even your parents.”
I thought for a moment. “They’re not worth the effort.”
“Now that’s healthy thinking. Dusty could be a good alpha. Not all alphas are bad.”
“Maybe.” Not all alphas were bad. I knew some pretty good ones. They just weren’t romantic material.
Also, in Ireland there was still the attitude that alphas preferred omegas. If you weren’t an omega, and had your sights on an alpha, you were just setting yourself up for heartbreak. When it happened, you’d be reminded that you deserved it, because you were just someone for alphas to fuck around with.
Maybe I’d twisted it to be that alphas were only for fucking to protect myself. If they weren’t worth anything I couldn’t get my heart broken.
The problem was that Dusty had gotten under my skin.
“I’d be okay if you wanted to give him a chance. I mean, think of the adorable babies you would have.” Fiona laughed.
“Fiona.” I rolled my eyes and gave her a playful shove.
“They’d be dangerous and creative and oh, they'd speak both Irish and Spanish, and probably interchangeably.” Her laugh turned into a giggle. “If I have babies with Carlos, it would be the same way. Oh my goodness!”
I thought for a moment. “You and Carlos would make cute babies. Just because you would have cute babies with somebody doesn’t mean you should.”
“Speak for yourself.” She giggled, hitting me with a pillow.
“I am. Would you have Carlos’ babies?” How serious were they?
“Today? No. Next week… maybe?” She grinned. “I could see having his athletic babies. Also, you like babies.”
“I do.” If I stayed with her, formed a pack with her and whoever she chose, I would happily raise those babies. I wasn’t even against having babies of my own someday. But it was quite an abstract thought.
“You know, if he’s still here, maybe you should say you’re sorry. Just ‘cause it’s his big night.”
