Page 21 of The Fullback
“Did you?”
He chuckled. “I asked you first.”
“What if I don’t want to answer first?” Because what if I said one thing and it was different to his. Opposite. I couldn’t cope with that.
“Tough.”
Another sigh, longer this time as I tried to force every last drop of air out of my lungs. Just to give me time. “Yeah, I enjoyed it. A lot.”
“Me too. More than… more than the other hookups we’ve had recently?”
“Is that a question or how you feel?” I asked, not able to bring myself to look at him. Hunter hadn’t been this open with me in a long time, and I wasn’t about to break the spell by locking eyes with him and forcing him to realise we were having this conversation.
“Both, I guess,” he said. “The ones we’ve had since we got out here… they were okay but not great. Nothing to remember.” He huffed out the tiniest, driest laugh. “I almost feel bad for saying that.”
“Don’t. I’d rather you be honest with me.”
“Will you be honest with me?”
“Do you want me to be?”
“Yeah, of course,” he said. I smiled because I could hear his frown without having to turn. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Because being honest with you will cause more trouble than it’s worth.
Because if I was honest and things didn’t work out, I’d never forgive myself.
But all I said was, “I don’t know. Guess we’re not always great at this.” I gestured vaguely in the air, almost knocking my barely opened packet of cigarettes off the balcony railing. I caught them and pulled another out, along with the cheap lighter I’d bought to go with them.
I hadn’t smoked in forever. It was probably easier to count in years rather than months at this point. I knew it was bad for me, but every now and then, when I had a lot on my mind, it was a bad habit I crawled back to.
“We’re not,” Hunter said as I lit the cigarette and took a long draw. “But you didn’t answer my question. I know you’re avoiding me.”
“No, they haven’t been great,” I said, blowing smoke out into the early morning air as I leant against the railing, Hunter’s warmth still pressed to my spine. “Kinda shit, really. I keep thinking about Aiden.”
“Same.” He leant down and nuzzled into my neck, like he wanted to bury himself there. “I don’t know if I really like topping that much. I preferred it when…”
“When Aiden fucked you?”
“Yeah.”
“I liked that too.” Another draw. Another exhale. Another heavy beat of my heart. “Fuck, Hunter. It was one of the hottest fucking things I’d ever seen. And the fact you tried to suck my dick while he was fucking you was… I don’t even have the words!”
His hand tightened on my waist, breath hot as he pressed an open-mouth kiss to my skin. “Would you mind if I wanted to try it again?”
“Which part?”
“All of it. But, er, I don’t know if I want anyone else topping me that’s not, um, you or Aiden. Not yet anyway.”
“Okay,” I said, taking another drag as I tried to keep myself calm. “Yeah. We can do that.” I put my hand against my stomach, feeling for Hunter’s fingers on the side of my waist. “Do you want to see him again?”
“Do you?”
I chuckled and stubbed out the last of the cigarette. “Nope, if you’re gonna make me answer questions first, I’m gonna make you do the same.”
“Yeah, I do. There’s something about him that, I dunno, just… It’s easy to be around him. Fun too. And when the three of us hook up… Yeah, if we can see him again, I’d like to. I know he’s probably busy, though.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to ask. I mean, you’ve got his number from last time.”
