Page 20 of The Fullback
CHAPTER SIX
Bailey
A soft breezeruffled my hair as I leant over the edge of our hotel room balcony, half a cigarette dangling between my fingers as I watched a group of people stumbling down the street, laughing and shrieking as they tripped over the curb.
It was probably close to three in the morning. Maybe four. Late enough that the exclusive nightclub at the end of the road was starting to kick people out. Too early for anything else to be open. Not quite time for the sun to start rising, but close enough that the tiniest flecks of pre-dawn light were starting to glow on the horizon.
Or maybe that was the lights from the Old Town across the bay.
I shouldn’t have been awake, and I definitely shouldn’t have been smoking, but there was too much going on in my mind for me to give a shit about either of those things.
Hunter was asleep in our bed, sprawled out like a starfish and snoring. Even in this heat, he still had to be close to me. And not even the air conditioning made much difference. I didn’tmind, though. I’d have thought it was weird if he’d chosen to sleep in the other bed or on the sofa. We’d been sharing a bed for so long now I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep without him.
Except on nights like tonight when my mind wouldn’t settle, no matter how long I lay there and tried to focus on my breathing, on switching off. On anything except what I’d done on the boat.
And the lingering shadow of Aiden, who seemed to follow me around.
“Stupid, stupid… you’re being stupid,” I muttered to myself as I took another long, slow draw of the cigarette, watching the burning end glow in the half dark. “This is not a thing.” I exhaled, the smoke drifting away on the breeze.
I needed to be more careful. To pull back on the emotions trying to escape my chest.
Just because Hunter and I had made out, again, and just because I’d let him suck my dick did not mean anything was going to happen between us. I should have said no when Aiden suggested it.
Not because I hadn’t wanted it to happen—fuck, I’d loved it more than I wanted to admit—but because I hadn’t been ready to deal with… whatever this was.
I shouldn’t have been clinging on to Hunter in the middle of the ocean, wrapping my legs around him and desperately hoping he’d touch me. Kiss me. Do something other than look at me.
“I thought you’d stopped smoking?” Hunter’s question was full of sleep, a note of concern wrapped up in the softness as he padded over to me and put one arm around my waist. The touch of his arm reminded me I was only wearing a pair of boxers. Although whether they were his or mine I couldn’t say. We might have been different sizes, but we didn’t really have individual wardrobes these days, apart from things like jeans because hisinside leg was so much longer than mine. Everything got thrown in together and then we pulled on whatever fitted best.
“Mostly,” I said, taking a final draw before I stubbed it out in the ashtray I’d nabbed from a local bar a couple of nights ago. “Sorry, I thought you were asleep.”
“I was. Then I woke up and saw you out here.” He kissed my bare shoulder, making a shiver run through me. “Are you cold?”
“No. Just… couldn’t sleep.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Yes… No… Maybe… Definitely not… Where would I even start?
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” I said eventually, watching a group of women walking arm in arm down the street, their shoes in hand.
“Why are you apologising? You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“Don’t I?”
“Unless you did something truly fucked up while I wasn’t looking, then no, I don’t think so.”
I sighed, wishing I could light another cigarette. Just so I had something to do with my hands. “The whole boat thing. The grabbing you with my legs. Making you chase me. It was… weird. I’m sorry.”
“You’re fine.” He kissed my shoulder again, sliding his body behind mine so he could rest his chin on the back of my head. I should have been used to him being this close. He spent most nights asleep half on top of me. But this felt different… charged, in some way. Like the heat of his body was going to ignite mine. “I guess, things have been a bit weird lately. With… with what happened with Aiden.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No. Do you?”
“No.” It was mostly true. I didn’t regret the sex part. I just regretted that it had left me so open and vulnerable. That I’d let it expose a nerve without a plan to cover it up.
“Good,” Hunter said softly. “Did you enjoy it?”
