Page 53 of Hale Damage
The server chooses that moment to reappear with our food, and I make a mental note to leave the guy a nice tip to put toward his therapy fund.
“Rose is so sweet and polite that she would never mention it if she did hear us. But I wouldn’t know for sure because we’ve actually never had sex with her in the house.”
“Never?” Caroline’s head jerks forward, and she’s rewarded with a face full of thick, brown hair. She pushes her tresses behind her ears and blinks at me in astonishment. “You’re telling me that in three years, you’ve never once had sex with your mother-in-law in the apartment? Not even some sneaky morning sex?”
“Rose is an early riser,” I explain.
My friends share another look, which is honestly starting to annoy me. It’s like they’re having a secret conversation about me right to my face. “This is worse than I thought,” Aubrey says, picking up her wrap. “What are we going to do about it?”
Caro wiggles her eyebrows. “Yeah, we need a plan of attack for tonight.”
Burying my head in my hands, I groan, “Nooo, not a plan!”
Ignoring my protest, she jabs her fork into her salad and pauses with a mass of lettuce right in front of her mouth. “Yeah, definitely need a plan.” She sticks the food into her mouth, her eyes going heavenward in thought. “You need to be irresistible tonight. Let’s see… what do I have that you can wear?” As she chews, I can see her mentally flipping through her closet.
“Caroline, I already have my outfit picked out. I’m wearing my blue dress.”
Her face scrunches up like I’d told her I was going to wear a dirty potato sack. “Donotwear that old frock if you’re wanting to get your ass spanked while Roger rides you like Secretariat on the homestretch.”
“I’ll just leave your check here,” the server says, placing the folder on the table and backing away like there’s a bomb on our table.
“That poor man knows entirely too much about our sex lives,” I comment with a woeful shake of my head. “And what’s wrong with my blue dress? I think it’s nice.”
She makes a face. “Okay, boomer. If you want to look like an elderly librarian who’s never seen a dick before.” Sucking a cherry tomato from her fork, she chews thoughtfully before her full lips curve up into a wicked smile. “I’ve got it! My Black Dress.”
Aubrey’s deep gasp sucks the air from around the table. “TheDress?”
We all know which one.TheBlack Dress that is so awe-inspiring it has its own title, complete with capital letters, like it’s the Pope or something.
Caroline pokes her fork in our direction as I sit dumbfounded. “The very one.TheBlack Dressthat convinced Brayden to take me to Hawaii for two weeks.TheBlack Dressthat has him sitting up and begging like a dog whenever I wear it. That dress is fucking magical.” She arches her fork through the air like a rainbow.
“And way too expensive,” I counter. “I would be scared to death I would bend over and pop a seam.”
My friend waves her hand dismissively. “It’s stretchy. You’ll be fine. Though I do have some rules. Number one, while wearing it, do not eat creamy or buttery sauces of any kind. Number two, the dress must come off before the penis makes an appearance. That goes back to the creamy sauces rule.” She grins. “Brayden’s dick has been known to spontaneously ejaculate when I have it on.”
I choke on a piece of turkey and blot my mouth with my napkin. “TMI, Caroline.” Though Roger drooling over me inTheBlack Dressis a tempting thought. Honestly, it’s been a while since he drooled. “You really think I can pull it off? And what about shoes?”
“You can totes pull it off. With that gorgeous hair and your hazel eyes? Shit. Not to mention your poppin’ ass. Roger will be pissing his pants.” She gives me two snaps. “And you can wear my red whore heels.”
“I’m an eight in shoes, and you wear a seven and a half.”
She dismisses me with pursed lips and a head tilt. “Then fucking hobble. It’s not like you’ll be walking much. Just in and out of the house and the restaurant. Trust me, you may not even make it out of the restaurant. Roger will probably try to defile you right at the table.”
Biting my bottom lip, I grin, liking this idea very much.
It’s been a while since I’ve been defiled.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Defilement derailed
Mindy
I dropby the house and pick up some of the sexy lingerie that Ihadn’tworn on our honeymoon and then hightail it to Caro’s for the beautification process.
Several hours later, I pause outside our house. I’d been primped and prodded within an inch of my life by Caroline and Aubrey. My scalp hurts. My feet hurt. But I look like a million bucks.
They’d been right aboutThe Dress. Hell, I want to fuckmyselfin this dress. And though the shoes are a half-size too small, they do give me supermodel legs.
