Page 68 of Diving In
“Well done, son,” he says in a choked voice, and the sight of the pair of them sets me off.
“Why are you crying, Kath?” Sam looks baffled at my tear-stained face.
“Because I’m so proud of you,” I manage to say, my voice unsteady. “And I know I’m an ugly crier so you need to stop looking at me, or at least shield me so that the cameras can’t see me. I think almost all the cameras in this pool are currently trained on you.”
“You’re weird.” But he’s laughing as I bury my face in his neck, breathing in the scent of chlorine and Sam. My T-shirt is getting wet but I don’t care, I just want to squeeze him even tighter. I stay cocooned in the hug a moment longer, listening to Sam’s heart thudding against me.
“Where’s my poster?” he asks. “Did I not qualify for one this year?”
“It was a casualty of the celebrations,” I sniff out. I end the hug and attempt to rescue the poster from where it’s half-trampled under my seat. It says “PIRATE’S CODE RULE 30: SWIM LIKE THE RUM’S NEARLY GONE”.
“Well done, mate.” Josh claps him on the back whilst Sam laughs at our artwork. “That was intense. I’ll bet you're going to be on the news later. It’s one of our first golds of the Games.”
“Ah maybe,” Sam says awkwardly. “I probably have to go do some interviews or something. And I have to cool-down. And pee into a cup. It’s a glamorous life.”
I release him reluctantly, but almost immediately spotAustin walking over.
“Alright, Kath?” Austin reaches up to give me a hug. “Knew I couldn’t beat this one, but didn’t think he would thrash me.”
“I didn’t thrash you,” Sam laughs. “And anyway, still not quite world record time, was it?”
“God, Fletcher, just celebrate, would you?” Austin says. “It’s still an Olympic record.”
Sam shrugs. I know how obsessed he is with that world record.
“Ready to go and face your adoring fans?” Austin teases.
“You know I’m awful at the press stuff.” Sam pulls back from the three of us and looks at the cameras with a worried expression.
“You’re not,” I chip in. “Just be yourself.”
He nods as Austin drags him towards the reporters.
I turn a watery smile to his dad. “Our boy did it.”
Chapter 30
Twenty years old
Sam
I’m lying on my bed trying to decompress after the day. I’m finished. Finally finished. The last relay event was earlier and we got a silver. There was one last time on the podium. Another round of listening to the US anthem as they bagged yet another gold. Another set of press conferences and drug tests.
And now I’m back in my room, looking at the medal in my hand and letting the day sink in. Letting the last few weeks sink in.
I miss my mum.
It hits like a wave.
I really, really miss her.
Alone in my room after finishing another race, it’s suddenly an all-consuming feeling. When they asked about our motivation for swimming in the last interview, I felt like I had to mention her, and how much she’d supported me. But now I can’t stop thinking about her.
I wonder whether she’d be proud of me? I think she would. Or would she be sad that I’d missed all those moments with her by going to practice? All the hours I spent in pools, or gyms or commuting to meets was time that we could’ve spent together. And after all that I couldn’t even get her a world record.Was it worth it?
I wish I could talk to her about the pressure. Everyone expects me to be happy with how well I’ve done, but instead I just feel dread. Dread about how public expectations for my performance have been raised higher. Dread that now the presenters will be talking about my medals like they’re guaranteed.
They all seem to forget that I’m only the fastest until someone younger and better comes along. Or until I get injured.
