Page 56 of Diving In
“Oh, hey, Austin,” she greets him. They’ve never met but constantly end up chatting via my calls. “Don’t worry; it’s getting late here anyway. I’ll let you and Austin get some food.”
I hear some noise through her side of the call and the sound of another person’s voice.
I’m just about to wish her goodbye when the other voice yells, “Katherine Ford, did you agree to go on a second date with Cam? And if so, why didn’t you tell me?”
I forget what I was about to say.
“Flo,” Kath scolds.
I feel sick.
“So, a date?” I attempt to sound nonchalant.
“Um, yeah.”
“Have I met him?”
There’s a pause before she answers, I can imagine her fiddling with her ponytail and staring at the phone. “No, I don’t think you met him when you came to visit. His family are from just by Sheffield and he’d already gone home for the holidays.”
“Right,” I mumble.
“But yeah, we went on a date last weekend. Just for a coffee, and then for a walk around the park and along the river.”
I thought walks were our thing. Though that sounds stupid even in my head. Kath can go on walks with people that aren’t me.
“Sorry, Sam; I’d better go,” she says.
“Sure.” I fill my voice with false bravado. “Talk soon.”
I end the call and turn to the chest of drawers, buying myself time by looking for a jumper, that I almost certainly don’t need. I allow myself one deep breath in and out before turning back around.
“Ready?” I ask Austin.
“You want to talk about it?” He’s looking at me with downright pity in his eyes.
“Nope,” I say. “Let’s go.”
But when I’m lying in bed that night, I realise that I need to do something to move on from Katherine Ford… if that's even possible. It’s just like my breaststroke. I haven’t been trying hard enough.
This is what you wanted, I berate myself.You wanted her to move on and not wait for you. You wanted her to have a normal university experience instead of sacrificing for you, the way she always does. You’re not enough for her. That’s why you’ve never pursued something more.
But things you want don’t usually feel this hard.
Chapter 25
Nineteen years old
Kath
“So… do you have siblings?” Cam asks, leaning his forearms on the sticky pub table.
It sounds like a question you’d see inFirst Dates for Dummies, and this isn’t even our first date. I paste on a smile. “One older brother, Tom. He’s a teacher, and is worryingly obsessed with making history jokes. What about you?”
Cam laughs. “I’ve got two sisters. The eldest communicates exclusively via photos of her house plants.”
“That’s a love language. Leafy hostage situations.”
He grins; it crinkles his whole face. He’s nice. He is. Tall-ish, kind eyes, rugby shoulders, dark hair. He studies engineering and feels like one of those constantly capable people. But… I just don’t think there’s anything here.
