Page 178 of Bound By Shame

Andrea,

My girl. We’ve both got a lot of work ahead of us, but you can let your guard down now. You can drop the defenses. Allow yourself to be soft. To be taken care of. Because for so much of your life, you’ve contorted yourself into knots for people who wouldn’t even lift a finger for you. The ones dedicated to loving you will stay through the rough patches, even when they feel distant— your worth isn’t based on how happy you can keep everyone. Focus on decompressing. Slowing down. Feelings things in the moment. Releasing the tension. It’s time to relax and prioritize healing.

Seba,

My dear, sweet Saint Seba. You triggered a lot of my beta readers for a while there, huh? Here’s the ugly truth— your desperation for guidance and security made you a target. Black and white absolutes gave you the illusion of safety. But when that illusion broke, you didn’t. You accepted uncertainty and yourself. You opened your mind and reshaped the way you thought. You made the conscious effort to change, which might be the hardest thing anyone can do. Because it means taking accountability. It’s humbling. But I’m proud of you— ofus— for working on ourselves to become better partners. Proud of us for becoming the security we craved and creating a comfortable life with the people we love.

And last but certainly not least, my darling heathen, Cade,

As a mother to a little boy, what you and many others in my research have gone through at the hands of someone who should’ve protected and nurtured you is utterly unfathomable. So I want to reassure you of a few things. You are notwrong. You are resilient. Your brain isn’t broken. You adapted tosurvive. You are whole, even in pieces. You are loved for exactly who you are.

They may not be fully healed, but they’re on their way. Like me. Like many of us. And I hope that message reaches the people who need it.