Page 2 of A Perfect World
“Don’t worry, this will help with those grand delusions.”
He could pretend that his concoctions would cure me, but fate didn’t care. Fog vignetted my eyes, tension stringing my muscles taut. The frequency of visions meant one thing: the future would come to fruition. Soon.
Ruthless hope hitched a ride on the injection. A devilish grin tugged at my chapped, bleeding lips. I surrendered to the milky white, letting the vision consume me.
Sitting up with a gasp, I clutch the thin sheet to my chest. My breath echoes off the blurry barren walls- I’m not alone. Streaks of moonlight seep through the little rectangle window, blending around the outline of a beautiful monster looming before me.
PART I
1
Courtney
Fifteen Years Ago
Myfingersdugintothe cardboard box full of shoes. I shifted from one foot to the other, legs sticky with sweat. The AC waged war against suffocating August humidity as the automatic sliding doors of the dorm opened and closed for students moving in.
Mom squinted her heavily lined eyes at the building across the street. I couldn’t remember the last time she put on makeup; she hardly left the house anymore. Though, today she didn’t have a choice.
“Don’t eat too much in that glorified cafeteria, you'll gain weight, and you can’t afford to lose your scholarship because of wide hips.”
I pinched my lips and adjusted the box in my arms. She’d forced me to step on the scale before our hour-long drive to make sure I wasn’t over 120 pounds. My youth was spent with limited portions, no sugar and her petulant voice saying, “You don’t have the intelligence to make something of yourself, might as well make sure you look as good as you can.”
Not that my excellent GPA in addition to dancing talent could change her mind. I rolled my shoulders in an attempt to shake off her poisoned barb. All summer I taught in the dance studio until I couldn’t talk, forthis- This moment of getting away from mom and living on my own terms. I was lucky enough to have been scouted for the dance program at the University of Florida West Coast, subsequently set up in the brand new dorms with individual bedrooms and a complimentary dining pass.
“I won’t,” I mumbled, tucking my chin to avoid her glare. She hadn’t wanted to move me in; Oxys, vodka and shitty reality TV beckoned her home and clearly, they mattered more than seeing her only child off to college. Then again, she reminded me for as long as I could remember that she wanted me as much as my father did. Since I didn’t know his name, never saw his face or heard from him, that told me enough: I was a child support paycheck that boosted her ego when I won dance competitions. I sighed, “You can go, I've got it from here.”
She scowled at the hooting and howling group of football players in the common area wearing UFWC t-shirts with the sleeves cut off and the sides ripped to show their muscled torsos. Mom hated men- it didn’t matter their age, she was a scorned woman with a bitter taste in her mouth. Men were the devil. Men were poison. Men were corrupting sons-of-bitches that sucked the life out of beautiful women.
Wrapped in a silk robe with a martini in hand, Mom preached her sermons to me starting as far back as first grade. The only time she tolerated my presence was under the influence of narcotics or alcohol, sometimes both, as she recalled the saga of her life. She'd been a stunning young woman once, and to this day held herself as if she were descending the stairs to a room of important community figures.
“Where’s Vince?” she snapped, nose scrunched like she smelled the poison oozing out of his maleness.
Vince, my high school sweetheart, had gotten into Yale but chose to attend UFWC with me instead. I hadn't expected him to stick around. My father supposedly was an intelligent man who married his high school love but decided that life wasn’t enough for him. Or at least that’s what mom told me. “They want you when you’re a pretty young thing and leave once that pretty body changes.”
“He’s on his way.” I shrugged. Mom shot another annoyed glance at the football players.
“Don’t sleep around, the last thing you need is an STD or worse… a pregnancy,” she sneered. Ignoring the sting, I donned a bored mask and nodded. Any chance she got, she brought up the fact I was a mistake that ruined her life, but her insinuations made no sense. She was there when the doctor inserted my IUD. She flipped her stiff curls over her bony shoulder. “Find someone who can bring you home for winter break.”
She walked out the automatic glass doors and a sliver of the girl who craved a loving mother cried at the rejection, while the rest of me deflated in relief.
Good riddance.
Sore from lugging everything to my dorm, I waited for the elevator with the remnants of my things. A tickle of DeJa’Vu made me squirm. This wastheelevator. It hit me like a cement block to the head. I'd seen it like an instant replay every day this week. Throughout my life, I suffered from trancelike states I'd labeled as visions- it was the only word that fit the glimpses of vivid images.
Tiny spiders scurried across my skin, sweat gathering in my armpits.It couldn’t be. The visions were daydreams. Nothing more.
The door slid back with a screech and my heart stopped.
Ice blue eyes flecked with silver, like the crust of a lake frozen in winter, stripped me to the bone, leaving me shivering and heated at the same time. Tall and lean with sun-kissed skin and sharp features, he wasdevastating.He hesitated, faking out the automatic door.
Blinking like an idiot, I openly gaped at him, my feet glued to the floor.
He glided out of the elevator and absently pushed a hand through his dirty blond hair.
Fuck. Me. Sideways.
“Courtney!”
