Page 72 of Guardian
He’s silent for a while.I get the feeling he’s gearing up for something.In spite of the relaxing massage, I’m braced for what comes next.I’m braced for him to break my heart again.
“Tell me how you’re feeling.”
Oh.“Well.Sore, like you said.Inside and out.A little tired still.Otherwise, okay.”
“Good.I meant emotionally, though.”
“Emotionally?”
“What we did was a lot.It was new.This sort of thing can bring up emotions, especially at first.I need to know I haven’t ruined you, here.”
“I—”I love you.How do I tell him that’s the main thing I’m feeling?Even more than ever?
The thought of it makes my heart try to beat its way out of my chest.
Soon.I’ll tell him soon.
“I don’t regret it, if that’s what you mean,” I tell him.“I guess I’m a little confused.You were so angry with me before.After the auction, and after you picked me up downtown.Now all of a sudden you’re being nice.”
“That’s how it works, kid.You went against my wishes, and I punished you.I’m ready to move past it if you are.As far as I’m concerned, we’re good.”
I turn in his arms, looking up at him.At the way the water from the shower is clinging to his eyelashes and lips.“Are we really good, Liam?After everything?”
This is about so much more than the last twenty-four hours.
His expression softens.When his arms slide around me, warming the chilled skin that isn’t under the water, I want to grab hold and not let go.
“I won’t apologize for wanting to keep you safe.But I see now that I didn’t know how to handle the way your feelings had changed toward me.Or the way I realized mine had changed toward you.At the same time I was trying to protect you, I was also pushing you away.I’m done with that.I don’t have it in me to pretend anymore.”
Does that mean what I think it means?“I’m going to need more words.”
His chest caves with the force of his rough grunt.Then, he leans down to kiss me.Really kiss me.For the first time, Liam Masters is kissing me the way you kiss someone you need like water, and I’ll do anything to keep him from being thirsty.
His tongue in my mouth is the stuff of all my high school fantasies.I’ll never wonder again what it means in one of my books when someone feels a kiss all the way to their toes.Mine are bunching against the tile.
“More,” I demand when he begins to pull away.
He laughs a little, but then he complies.His tongue is wet and warm, sliding against mine.Ohhh.Boy.I could do this all day.
Except.Except if I’m staying, we need to have a conversation.We need to establish some ground rules.I put my hands to his shoulders, pushing away some.
“You need to remember I’m not one of your subordinates, Liam, and I’m not your ward anymore.I get to make my own decisions.”
“Being with someone means taking their feelings into account when you make decisions.You’re an impulsive dopamine seeker who puts himself in harm’s way for fun.That affects me.”
“Not for fun.I did what I did to help people.”
“You can’t ask me to cover my eyes and not notice when you’re about to do something ill-advised.I’m always going to want you to be safe.You can’t expect me to be someone I’m not.”
I guess that’s fair.“How about I promise not to ignore you in the future when you express your concerns?”
He clenches his jaw.“It’s a start.”
“Well, I assume we can keep discussing these things in the future if we need to.Keep negotiating.”I need that assurance that if I stay I won’t regret it later.
“I’m pretty sure that’s what relationships are about.”
“Pretty sure?”
