Page 31 of Guardian
“Damn right it is.See, I learned the hard way that you can’t help someone who isn’t interested in taking it from you.Whatever you think you owe this kid, or owe his parents, you’ve done your job.When you were his age, you were dodging missiles in Afghanistan.If you ask me, it’s time to let go before you drive him away.”
After locking him in his room and taking his phone?“Not that I did ask, but I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.”Hell, it’s halfway to the Kamchatka Peninsula by now.I try to shake the earlier memories from my head.“The whole thing’s thoroughly fucked at this point.I tried to help him.He pushed back.Then I pushed harder, so he sneaked out, and I lost my shit and padlocked his door and window.”
Her eyes fly open wide.“I’m sorry.You did what now?”
“Didn’t work.He picked the lock on the window and climbed out.”
When I went home to change, I found him gone.Found his watch hidden under the cover of the fucking barbecue grill.“I’ve spent all day wondering who’s more screwed up.Me for trying to lock him in his room, or him for constantly sneaking out with the apparent mission of putting himself in harm’s way.So, you can go tell everybody who won the bet.You can also let them know I intend to get my shit together ASAP.”
Not a clue how I can promise that when I feel so far out to sea, but Bev seems to accept it.I don’t like the way she seems to be mulling over everything I just said.Mostly, I don’t like that all of it was true.
She turns her chair and props her feet on the table.Our waitress, Annie, comes by and swats the back of Bev’s head with a bar towel.Bev only grins and swats Annie on the ass as she walks past.
My chair scrapes on the floor as I push it back.“Time for me to go.Don’t think I’m in the mood to stay and watch you get laid.”
I’m drowning in prickly, itchy shame since what happened in Ravi’s bedroom, but probably not enough.Hasn’t stopped me from jerking my dick raw.My balls are still so blue they’re on the way to purple.
I can’t even stand that I’m thinking of him this way.By the time I came back to myself in the middle of spanking him, I was already in the midst of crossing the line.My shrieking conscience hadn’t been able to stop me from that dangerous moment when I let my finger wander into territory I couldn’t explain away.
My control has been shredded into tiny pieces of confetti.I never should have let things go as far as they did.Never mind the way I can’t stop…cravinghim.
The kid’s phone pings on the table in front of me, where it’s still sitting next to my own.A notification about an upcoming test from one of his teachers.
I’ve told myself a dozen times to quit looking at the damn thing.The group chat, the messages from Brennan, have all gone silent.The abrupt lack of communication from the people he talks to most tells me they’ve probably been informed Ravi doesn’t have his phone.
Any further monitoring is pointless.Like the guilty jerking off, I can’t seem to stop.
“Why don’t you get yourself laid, then?”Bev’s question snaps me out of my thoughts.She tips her head to the side, flicking her gaze over toward the bar.
When I follow the path of her attention, I realize there’s a man there who isn’t doing much at all to hide his interest.He’s close to my height, a little leaner.Dark hair.Dark eyes.Nervous.
No chin dimple, no full lips, no tight, barely legal ass.Probably doesn’t use bubblegum-scented bodywash.
Most importantly, he’s not half my age.I can see the gray at his temples from the weathered table where Bev and I sit.
Yes, I could probably have some fun with him tonight.I could probably even call up my buddies and get a group together.Zed would be happy to come over and help me escort the guy home.Seems like the type who wouldn’t mind being shared.
“Not in the mood right now,” I tell Bev.
“Aaand this is because of the kid?”
“He’s not a fucking kid.”
My brain flashes back to the day he arrived at my house, wide-eyed and silent, with a Jujutsu Kaisen anime backpack slung over his bony shoulders.No.As much as I try to ignore it, the young man who defiantly called me Daddy and climbed through his bedroom wearing spandex shorts is not a kid anymore.
“You’re the one who keeps calling him a kid.”
“I’m keeping this insubordination in mind at your next review.”
She responds by giving me the finger.
“Fuck.”I run a tired hand down my face.“He’s been living with me since he was almost sixteen.It’s a little…”
“Weird.”
“Twisted.Incestuous.Fucked up.”
“You know, you’re not his actual parent.”The right side of her lip lifts into a sneer.I don’t know if she’s disgusted with me or something else.I’m not presently interested in asking.
