Page 4 of My Little Doe
She laughed and kicked a rock down the sidewalk. For a moment, the world felt lighter, like her voice patched up the cracks inside me. We stopped at the gas station on the corner. We needed bread and milk. Aspen begged for a fruit punch. Of course, I obliged her. The humming coolers buzzed in the back, filling the store with a dull vibration that rattled in my teeth. I reached for the milk, and the cold raised goosebumps on my arms.
When I turned, a man stood at the end of the aisle. He held a bag of chips, but he wasn’t looking at them—he looked atme. His eyes dropped from my face to my stomach, then back up again. Something in his stare made my breath catch. Not recognition—something sharper. I stepped closer to Aspen and nudged her behind me.
The man blinked and moved on, chips still in his hand. Maybe I imagined it. That’s what I told myself anyway.
Outside, the air smelled like wet pavement and gasoline. Aspen chattered about a girl in her class who ate crayons. I tried to laugh, but my throat tightened. I held her hand tighter the rest of the walk home.
The family car was in the driveway. The front door was half open, and Mom’s voice spilled into the yard. She wasn’t yelling, but her voice had that sharp edge she got when she drank too early in the day.
Inside, Paxton leaned against the counter with his arms folded. Mom stood across from him with a can of beer in her hand. Another sat empty beside the sink.
“I paid what I could,” Paxton said. “You knew the bill was due.”
“I gave you money,” she said.
“You gave me twenty dollars. The bill was two hundred,” he said.
“Don’t talk to me like I can pull cash out of thin air.”
I pushed Aspen toward her room. She didn’t need to hear the rest. She ran off without asking questions. She was used to this. I stepped between them and opened the fridge. Anything to look busy. Anything to keep the peace.
Mom pointed the beer at me like it was proof. “Ask her. She knows how tight things are.”
I didn’t want to be in the middle of this again. My head throbbed. “We’ll figure it out,” I said.
Paxton sighed. He grabbed the keys and left without another word. Mom cracked open a fresh beer and slumped onto the couch. The TV flicked on, lighting her face with a flash of blue.
I heated leftovers for Aspen and sat beside her while she ate. She leaned into me, small and warm. I brushed a strand of hair off her cheek and tried to hold on to the moment.
By the time I tucked her into bed, the house had gone quiet. The TV sounded low in the next room. I laid beside Aspen until her breathing slowed. My own thoughts wouldn’t settle. They spun in circles around the same questions. How would I afford supplies? How long before Mom started asking where my money went? What if the baby wasn’t healthy because of all the partying I’d done before I knew?
I rolled onto my back and pressed a hand to my stomach. No sign that anything had changed, but it all felt different anyway. I made an appointment with our family doctor. The earliest the office had was a week out. I didn’t know how to plan for any of this, but I’d figure it out. I always did.
Chapter 3
I tossed and turned all night. Something within me felt unsettled. Each time I fell into a deep sleep, Aspen would stir and startle me awake. She too slept unsettled, struggling to wake up and fighting me while I dressed her, whining the entire time. I yawned half the walk to school, while she dragged her feet the whole way there, protesting the whole way.
Once she was through the doors, I headed toward the bakery. My heart started beating faster, my stomach twisted, and every hair on my arm stood up. I stopped and looked around, but nothing looked off. The birds chirped on the above power line. I continued walking down the empty sidewalk. The moment I heard footsteps behind me, something was pulled over my head.
I screamed, but nothing came out. I thrashed my arms and quickly felt someone wrap their arms around me. I fought as hard as I could, but I wasn’t exactly someone who went to the gym. I’d only just reached a hundred and twenty pounds. Something sweet took over my senses, my limbs went limp, and everything went dark.
My eyes burned, my head pounded. I tried to open my eyes, but they didn’t seem to want to open. A wet dog smell filled my nostrils. My stomach churned, urging me to vomit what little was in my stomach. It felt like waves were crashing against the sides of my skull. I tried to open my eyes again, but they refused.
Open your fucking eyes, Zalayuh.
My eyes flickered. This time, they stayed open. Flashes of grey came through as I blinked, trying to figure out where I was. My head throbbed with each beat of my heart. Rubbing my head didn’t seem to help.
“She’s waking up.”
My entire body jumped from the deep male voice that spoke. Then I froze. I pushed myself to open my eyes and focus on where I was. My eyes darted around, my body completely still, afraid to move. It was dim in the room, and light filtered in through a tiny window close to the ceiling. The lightbulb that was attached to the middle of the ceiling flickered. The walls and floor were concrete. The room smelled of musty cement and something animal.
My eyes focused and narrowed on the steel door, with a small cutout window that had four bars across it. I couldn’t see anything beyond the window; it was darker out there than it was in here. I felt the ground around me before dropping my head to look where I was lying. Below me was a mattress. It was smaller than the one Aspen—
Aspen. Fuck. Who would get her from school? Oh, my Lord. She would be waiting for me, and I wasn’t going to be there. My mother wouldn’t know that she should get her, expecting me to do it. I needed to get out of here. Why was I here in the first place? How did I get here?
What was the last thing that I remembered? My head was fuzzy, and I felt like I was floating high in themountains—
“What is the plan here?” the deep voice said. He spoke low, but not low enough.
