Page 98 of My Little Doe
“I just… it was a lot… it brought me back to that day…” I said.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s not your fault. You… you were just protecting us—protecting me,” I said.
“Always, and I’ll continue until you no longer allow me to,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“I know you think I was holding you captive, and I was, but there was a lot more going on than you know.”
“Then tell me, Quinn. Be honest,” I said.
“I may deflect a lot, but I’ve always been honest. You started being fed real meals because I paid for someone to cook proper meals for you. I always disagreed with what Ravik did. This cabin was no coincidence. I mean, I’ve always owned it, but it was in terrible shape. I had my family getting it ready. I was buying time, waiting for everything to come into place. I was always going to save you, Zalayuh, just not quite as soon as it happened. You were supposed to give birth to Izayuh here. That rocking chair that was here, it was my mom’s. It was brought here for you before everything fell apart. And… I didn’t know what we were gonna do, but I’d have helped raise him, had you let me,” he said, his voice quivering as two tears rolled down his cheek.
Tears started rolling down my face. This was the most honest and raw he’d been with me, and I was not prepared for it. He wasalwaysgoing to save me. Izayuh and I would have been together had my stupid body held him in longer.
“I failed him,” I cried out.
“You didn’t fail him… Daxyn failed him. I failed him. You did everything right,” he said.
I cried hard. He reached over and wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“So yes, my little doe, I was always protecting you, and I’ll do so until you tell me to go kick rocks,” he said.
“I mean, I did when I was locked away,” I said, laughing through the tears.
“You have to tell me when you're not being held hostage. You didn’t know I was there for your own good,” he said. “Now, you do.”
I stared at him. Something was moving around in my chest that I didn't have a name for yet.
Chapter 24
Fourteen days had passed since Quinn revealed his plan to save me. Then he left that night with Callie. I had an appointment with Dr. Arthur the next morning. Quinn stayed in the car this time. The appointment was super quick, and he also gave me the all clear to resume normal activities. I didn’t tell him I’d been running and exercising for weeks already. Not wanting that lecture.
The last two weeks had been spent doing the same things. Lucy was now walking all over and was starting to play. We started her on soft food, per Quinn’s uncle. He said we needed to start weaning her off the bottle. He also wanted us to consider placing her with someone equipped for bobcats. The thought of it nauseated me. He stated she was meant to be wild and not a house cat. Quinn told me he supported whatever I wanted, but he did think we should consider what his uncle suggested.
Quinn and I had near kisses way too many times. I fought the urge to close that gap every time. I also fought the urge to climb on top of him during the night hours and do more than kiss him.
As Lina said, Quinn was broodier in the days leading up to the full moon. Every time I’d bring up going back home, he would dodge the question. The last time he told me it would be soon, he was waiting on some information, but he didn’t want to get my hopes up. He knew how badly I missed Aspen.
With Callie back here, we hadn’t heard how things were back home. Every time I let myself think about it, my anxiety would climb, and he would push me outside to spar. We had been sparring more. I thought he was holding back until the doctor cleared me, but even then, I knew he didn’t show me his true strength. We had done more ground sparring. He taught me how to lock in a choke hold—the delicate timing between unconsciousness and death.
It was the afternoon, and we were sparring again. Both of us were bouncing on our toes.
“What are the rules if you're taken to the ground?”
“Don’t go to your back, roll to your side, use your legs as a barrier, knees up, and be dirty,” I said.
“Mmm… good,” he said.
Then he bent over a little, dropped his shoulder, and charged toward me. We both went to the ground. I tried to roll to my side, but he grabbed me super quick, pinning my arm down. I pulled my knee up, hitting him in the ass. I thrashed trying to roll to my side, but he gripped both of my wrists. I rotated my wrist, creating the weak spot in his hold, and pulled my arm out. I swung it over me, trying to get onto my side.
“Aht aht aht,” he teased. He grabbed my arm and pinned it right back down.
I growled.
“Stop thinking about what is pinned. What is free?” he asked.
