Page 148 of My Little Doe
“Take a breath in, Zay,” Callie’s voice said, reminding me that I needed to breathe for this baby.
I sucked in a deep breath.
“Baby is coming… it’s right there… God, it fucking hurts… Make it stop,” I screamed out.
Quinn moved around and was in front of me, and Callie took his spot. He cupped my face, our eyes meeting each other.
“You’re okay. We are here with you. You are so close, you’re in control. You can do big things,” he said.
The reminder I needed that I could do this. I was close, and this baby would be in my arms very soon.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Lina had put the Doppler on my stomach to listen to the baby.
“Baby sounds perfect, Zay. Also sounds like this baby is minutes from being born,” she said.
“I know!” I yelled out as another contraction hit. My body took over, and I felt the baby’s head coming out. Everything burned. Then I remembered that if it was burning, I needed to stop pushing. I needed to breathe this baby out. I closed my eyes. I went deep within. I thought of Izayuh.
I inhaled and focused on that breath and let it out.
“I see their head, and there is a lot of hair,” Callie said.
“Do you wanna feel, Zay?” Lina said.
I wanted to answer, and I wanted to feel, but my brain had gone somewhere else in that moment. I focused on the breathing. Another contraction, and I forced myself to breathe.
“You’re doing so amazing, Zay. Keep breathing, baby girl,” Quinn said.
I needed that. I needed his voice and reassurance. I exhaled, and just then the head emerged. I pushed myself up onto only my knees. I reached between my knees. Quinn moved closer, his hands with my hands. We would catch our baby together. All I could see was solid black curly hair. I felt their shoulders start to turn. I closed my eyes and focused on breathing instead. It felt startling at first, but I knew it would be okay, and we were so close.
Another contraction came, and my body pushed. In one swift movement, their shoulders slid out, and then the rest of them. My hands wrapped around their body, Quinn’s hands wrapped around mine, and the baby. I sat back on my calves, holding my baby tightly in my arms. Lina reached around and gently wiped their mouth and rubbed their back.
Little cries erupted. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I finally opened my eyes again. Quinn was also crying. His hands never left mine or our baby’s. They were here. They were safe. They were crying. God, that sound was the most perfect sound I’d ever heard. I looked down at our baby, whom I’d pressed against my chest. Thick, curly black hair—more hair than Quinn himself had.
My bleeding had been perfect, something we were all watching closely, given my history. Lina and Callie had stepped out of the shower and were letting the three of us take in the moment. Quinn had a towel pressed against the baby, keeping them warm. It hit me that we didn’t even know if we had a daughter or a son.
“Want to know what we have?” I asked Quinn.
“Yes!” he excitedly said.
I tipped the baby back away from my chest, supporting their head, until they laid flat in my arms. Both of our eyes darted between their legs. Then back at each other. We both smiled widely, with more tears rolling down our cheeks.
“Are you gonna share with us?” Callie asked.
Then Lina nudged her.
“We have a Mikel Izayuh,” he said.
Callie and Lina both started crying, which didn’t help; more tears rolled down our cheeks.
We hadn’t shared the names we picked out. We wanted them to be ours until the baby was born. I was sure it was a girl. Quinn hadbeen convinced it was a boy from the beginning. His wolf instincts were right. I’d never hear the end of it.
Aspen appeared in the doorway, rubbing her eyes, her hair going every direction. She froze when she saw the baby in my arms. Her eyes went wide and filled up fast. She walked over slowly, like she was afraid to startle him, and peered down at his little face.
“Is it a boy?” she whispered. She too wanted a little boy.
I nodded at her. “Mikel.”
