Page 101 of The Ex-Best Thing
“That’s an excuse.”
“It’s also the truth. He doesn’t like living in the public eye, and I can’t stop producing music. We’re not compatible.”
“Baloney,” she says again. “Something is holding you both back, but you have to let it go. At some point, you have to decide loving each other is worth everything you’d have to face. To decide it will be okay, because you know you can do it together. You want your career and Benny; he wants a quiet life and you. You can’t both get what you want, so what’s the next best thing?”
Anything, as long as he’s part of my life. That’s an easy answer. It’s the rest that’s hard to figure out.
“I’ve known that boy his entire life, and nothing makes him light up like you do,” Nancy says. “It would be worth it, Bree.”
“I know.” Each word cuts deeper and deeper. I can’t tell her he’s worried about her heart, her stress levels. “Let’s enjoy this time, okay?” I say.
Nancy frowns. “If I have no other choice.”
“I’m afraid not.”
28
BENNY
I don’t knoweverything my grandma said to Bree, but I heard all the highlights. They’ve been playing on a loop in my head since we finished cleaning her house and setting up the tables for bunco night with her friends.
At some point, you have to decide loving each other is worth everything you’d have to face. To decide it will be okay, because you know you can do it together.
She’s right. Bree is worth everything we’d have to face in order to be together. But nothing is worth sacrificing Grandma’s health.
I bag up the trash and carry it outside. When I come back in, Colby is pouring himself a glass of water and Grandma is at the stove. “I’d better get started on my cookies, now. Thanks, boys.”
“Love you, Grandma,” Colby says. He heads out.
I reach to give her a hug. “Have fun tonight.”
“You know I will. Rose will be here any minute, so you’d better get Bree home.”
“Okay.”
“Benny?” she says, dumping eggs into her mixing bowlwithout looking at me. “You know you can’t put off living your life just because you don’t want to add stress to mine, right?”
Mind reader? I stare at her, watching her go through the motions of mixing chocolate chip cookies without thinking too much on it, because she’s done it a million times. I remember sitting at this counter as a kid, licking the bowl clean and using my spoon to sing into because I wanted to be a famous singer one day.
It’s funny how some dreams come true, and they’re nothing like you expect them to be. Then others sneak up on you and you realize they are what you wanted all along, but you don’t know how to make them happen.
“We’re taking it a day at a time.”
“Baloney,” she mutters.
“Grandma? What?”
“I said it to Bree and I’ll say it to you: baloney. You need to choose each other. What’s holding you back, honey?”
I gaze into her eyes, knowing full well I can’t tell her. I’ve come to terms with all the other sacrifices I’d have to make for Bree, but Grandma is not one of them.
“I’ll see you later. Have fun at bunco.”
“Wait a minute. What is it? I can see there’s something you won’t tell me.” She turns off the mixer and steps closer. “It’s not me, is it?”
I wait a beat too long to answer, because she draws back the spatula she was using to scrape the sides of her bowl and smacks me in the chest with it. “Benjamin Rhodes. Do notdaretell me you’re putting off love forme.”
Then I won’t. I keep silent. “They’re in the car. I’d better go.”
