Page 90 of The Ex-Best Thing
I stare at him, wondering where that came from. “Why?”
“Isn’t she your manager?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t you want her to help manage the situation?”
It’s hard to explain my feelings even to myself, so I don’t know how to adequately put them into words, but I don’t want my mom to have anything to do with this project. I want to surprise her along with the rest of the world. But I can’t evenbring myself to admit that to Benny, so how am I going to actually pull it off?
My relationship with my parents has been business-oriented from the beginning, especially with our reality show filming all through high school, and the spinoff I did with my sisters the few years before my music career took off. Mom hasn’t been someone I can go to with my heartache or concerns or personal trials. I learned early on that she has a one-track mind, and it’s centered on work. When Lonnie left me for that stylist, I couldn’t go to my mom. I couldn’t go to anyone, really. I shoved those feelings aside, decided they didn’t matter, and moved on.
It’s how I handle most things, which I recognize is maybe not the best. But it’s how it is. So now, on the cusp of the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, a mistake my mom should have looked at throughmotherlyglasses and decided was the wrong move, I’m determined to fix it on my own.
Maybe I’m worried she’ll push me into a decision I’ll later regret. Maybe I think she’ll talk me out of it. Maybe I can sense she’s chomping at the bit to get me on any interview show that’ll take me right now, and she won’t think this song will cut it.
I let out a sigh, wondering how to condense that into something a good person would admit about their own mother. “I don’t want her help, no,” I finally say. “She…we…I don’t think we see eye to eye anymore.”
Making the admission out loud to another person is liberating. Benny waits, comfortable in the silence. His eyes track my face.
I love my mom, but that doesn’t mean I think our relationship needs to continue in this capacity. Maybe if we stop working together, we’ll feel more like a family again. The truth is that I don’t want her having a say in any part of this, either. “She’ll want to control everything, and she’ll possibly squash the whole song or try to sell it to my old label.”
“Which you don’t want?” he guesses.
“I’m finished with them. If I put out any more music, it’s going to be the country album I’ve been wanting to make, and it’s going to be on my terms.”
Benny pushes a lock of hair out of my face. It wasn’t obstructing my vision, so it feels more like an excuse to touch me, but I don’t mind. His smile is sweet but sure. “It’s your career.”
Those simple words empower me. I feel taller, lighter, like I have a weight relieved already, from talking to him.
“Is that how you broke away?” I whisper, veering into territory I know he doesn’t like to talk about. But when it comes to social ladder-climbing parents, his were almost worse than mine.
Who knows? If he stayed in the industry, maybe they would be worse by now.
“Yeah. I didn’t have to fire my parents the way you’d have to fire your mom to get a clean break, but I was really lucky. My agent, Justin, was supportive of me stepping away. He saw what it was doing to me, and he probably knew he couldn’t change my mind anyway. Either way, he supported my decisions.”
“Unlike I did.”
“You were hurt,” he says. “I broke up with you. We didn’t need to keep talking after that.”
“Maybe.” Though I don’t think I was equipped as a teenager to handle a breakup gracefully and remain friends with him, even if I had understood his reasons better at the time. “I couldn’t fathom needing privacy back then. Now, I think you’re an utter genius.”
He laughs, running his hands up and down my arms. “I never stopped caring about you, Bree.”
I lean forward until he’s supporting me. “Apparently, neither have I.”
His grin is nearly blinding.
Sierra’s back door opens. “Hey, we leaving soon or what?” Colby shouts. “We’re going to drop Grandma off at home on the way.”
Benny lets out an audible sigh, then leans forward and presses a kiss to my temple. “Coming.”
25
BENNY
Bree is a natural.I don’t know why her parents ever wasted time on reality shows or all that modeling. I know she didn’t love doing it as much as she has a natural gift for it. Maybe she liked the money. But they should have gotten her a record deal right out the gate, and they should have gone straight to Nashville for it.
She has a beautiful, unique tone, and she’s a perfect voice for country music.
