Page 24 of No Turning Back
“Shut the fuck up, bitch,” I growl, and Sydney’s body spasms. “No, baby, not you.” I twist her around and pull her up against me.
She wraps around me, her skirt pulling up and showing her legs. She buries her face in my neck, and I rub her back, trying to calm her down. As soon as the car backfired, I heard her scream and watched as she went into her head and lived whatever nightmare is in there. I tried to calm her along with Wrenn, but she started fighting. I don’t know who this Bahati person is, but I’ll hunt him down and kill him for hurting her.
I carry her up to my room and lie on the bed with her wrapped around me. Just like the last time she had a panic attack, she is calmed by my presence, and I hold her. Her face buries into my chest, and she inhales deeply, using my scent to steady her nerves.
As I rub my hands along her body, I feel wetness and pull back from her, but she burrows in closer.
“Spitfire, I need to check you over. I think you’re bleeding.”
She nods against my chest. For some reason calling her by her name only took her deeper into her panic attack, but my nickname for her brought her out.
“I—I’m so sorry I embarrassed you,” she says so quietly I barely hear her.
“You didn’t embarrass me. What happened? What have you gone through, spitfire?” I ask as I pull away and turn on the bedside light.
I move to the bathroom and wet down a washcloth. When I step back into the room, she’s sitting up in bed, her skirt still high up on her thighs, and I see her knees are bruised and bleeding. Carefully, I move across the room, not wanting to scare her. She flinches when the cloth first touches her abraded skin. I clean each knee and then lean down to kiss them. She flinches and looks up at me.
“Will you talk to me?” I beg, but she shakes her head.
“I can’t right now. Please give me time.”
I lean over her body and pull her up by the back of her neck to my lips. Her soft lips open, and I give her what she’s asking for. My tongue explores her mouth, and I move us without removing my lips from hers. Lying down with her, I pull her into me. I kiss her until we are both breathless. When I pull away, I roll her so her back is to my front, and I hold her tightly. My chin rests on her shoulder.
“When I was deployed the last time, my unit was attacked. We were hit by RPGs that blew up the Humvees around us. Mine was flipped over. Shrapnel impaled my shoulder after I slammed into the door. I still flinch when I hear loud noises. That car backfiring startled me too.” I share a piece of myself, hoping she will open up to me.
“I’m so sorry you went through that.” She pulls one of my hands up and kisses my palm softly. “I want to be with you. I want to try to make this work, but I’m so broken and afraid.”
“Afraid of what, baby?”
“Of you waking up one day and saying you can’t handle my fucked-up self. Of you not wanting to take on another man’s child,” she confesses.
I roll her again so we are facing each other, then lift her chin so she’s looking at me.
“Sydney, I want you and Mari. I want to make this work, and we can be fucked up together.” I lean in and kiss her again as a knock sounds at the door. I move from the bed and open the door to Aries.
“Everything okay?” he asks me.
He knows, like I do, that from what we witnessed, my girl has gone through something akin to war.
“Yeah, we’re good.”
“Okay.”
He moves away, and I look down the hall to where Wrenn is waiting. I nod at her. She sighs as her hand rests on her large belly.
I close the door and climb back into bed with Sydney. I pull her into my arms, and we fall asleep with her wrapped around me.
When I wake the next morning, I feel her body against mine and let out a huge sigh of relief. I was worried I’d wake up to her being gone again.
“I didn’t run away,” she says sleepily.
I lean down and kiss her forehead.
“Come on, let’s get cleaned up.” I start to pull her up from the bed, but she pulls away from me.
“How many women have been in this bed with you and showered with you the next morning?”
Her question takes me by surprise for a moment, but then I see the determination in her eyes. She’s worried about this.
