Page 19 of No Turning Back
The shot rings out, and I scream.
I come awake with tears rolling down my face and my throat raw from screaming in my sleep. I hear Mari crying through the monitor on the nightstand and look over to see her lying in her crib. I roll out of bed. Sweat beads across my skin, chilling me in the air of the room. It takes me right back to that night.
I take a moment to compose myself, upset that my screams woke up Mari. I move across the house to her room and reach into her crib to pull her into my body. I almost lost her and myself that night. Sitting in the rocking chair, I gently rock her back to sleep, my eyes heavy, but I won’t be able to sleep again tonight.
Maybe it’s time I talk to someone, but I don’t know if I can yet. I talked to a counselor at the hospital while I was recovering, but it’s time to really open up to someone. Once Mari is back to sleep, I lay her back in her crib. Stepping out of her room, I look across the hall to the closed door. I haven’t unpacked that room yet. I step toward the door and open it. Boxes line the wall along with camera bags and packs. I stand there and take it all in for a moment.
Everything from my previous life is here. Everything that wasn’t with me on that last trek. I had an amazing career, traveling to locations that people dream of. I survived.
I step over the threshold and decide to start organizing the room.
Unboxing pictures from all my travels, I go around and finally make my house a home. I spend four hours unpacking and putting things away, and there are still boxes along the wall, but it’s less crowded and calms my nerves to finally see my photographs around the house.
Mari starts fussing from her room, and I look out the window to see the sun rising. Taking in my home now, I’m excited at what I’ve accomplished. I smile and feel better. I’ll be tired later, but coffee is becoming my new best friend.
A couple of hours later I dial my mom’s cell.
“Hello, baby girl, how are my favorite angels this morning?” She chuckles through the phone. “How was your date last night?”
“You can’t help yourself, can you?” Shaking my head, I smile at her comment.
“What? I just asked an innocent question.”
“I was raised by two attorneys. You taught me there are no innocent questions.” I laugh. “It was really nice. He helped me give Mari a bath, and I guess we are dating now.”
I remember his dominance and lift my hand to my throat, slightly dragging my fingers over where he held me.
“You guess?”
“Okay, he said we were exclusive and called me his,” I say, and she laughs at me. “Mom, stop. I have a few things I need to talk to you about.”
“Okay, what’s up?”
“First, can you watch Mari tonight? There is a party at the clubhouse Tucker wants me to go to with him.”
“Anytime, angel. What else?”
“Can I see a counselor?”
“Still having those nightmares?” Her voice is serious now. She instantly changes from playful to mom mode.
“A few.” I’ve been hiding my lack of sleep from her. “But mostly, I think it’s time to work through everything. It’s time to attempt to move on.”
“I think it would be an excellent idea. It’s time, sweetie. Time for you and Mari to stop living in fear all the time.”
“Thanks, Mom. Now, for the next issue. The zoo wants to bring over a conservation rescue group from Zimbabwe. They want me to meet with them.”
“I’ll notify the legal team and see what they suggest. But I don’t see the Brigade coming here to come after you. You know you can never return to Africa for your safety.”
“I know. Okay, I’ll let Lydia know I’ll be available to work with them.”
“What time do I need to be there, or do you want to bring her here?”
“How about you come here tonight?”
“Okay. I’ll see you at about six thirty.”
I hang up and proceed with my day. I spend the time cleaning the house up and playing with Mari. I love days like this when I can spend time with her. She’s grown so much in just five short months.
