Page 49 of Knot Your Pucking Baby
I hate that I feel sympathy for Sasha. Because even after all that he has done, no child deserves to be treated that way. Not a single one.
“So you what, joined the team to get back at my father?”
He nods.
“And when he died, that need for vengeance suddenly turned to me?”
Another nod.
Unbelievable.
“Did it ever occur to you that the supposed daughter of the man you were really after wasn’t the one that deserved your ire? I did nothing to you apart from existing in whatever shitshow all of this bullshit is.”
I throw the documents I had been holding in my hand at Sasha’s feet. Coming to a stand, I close the distance between us.
“Not once did you ever consider the person that you had not only been stalking,” I throw the phone at his feet, delighting when I hear the screen crack, “But lying to with matters that not only affect them, but the entire team!”
Sasha’s head snaps up, that moment of “oh fuck” evident in those ice blue eyes that I could have once fallen into.
“Because that’s what those documents can do, Sasha. If I am not who I had thought I was, my fathers Will can be contested. I can fucking lose everything. Every single person employed under the Cardinals can lose their jobs because of your need for vengeance.”
I stab a finger into his chest, “Not once did you ever consider the lives around you. You are selfish. So caught up in your own plans that you dragged not only your pack mates and me with you, but an entire team. Parents with young children at home who need the money their parents' jobs provide them to survive. Borderline retirees who are counting on the bonus they will receive if we win that Stanley Cup.”
“I…” he begins, but I refuse to hear it.
“There you go proving my fucking point, Sasha. It is always “I” with you. You are a self-centered piece of shit who can’t let go of the demons in his past.”
I push past the Alpha, needing to get the fuck out of here so I can breathe air that isn’t mixed with the scent of them.
I don’t look at Dominic or Holden. I don’t think I could stand to see the expression on their faces.
“Sasha, we’re done.”
“No.” His voice cracks behind me. “I fucking can’t.”
I don’t turn around.
“You’ve become…” His laugh is hollow. “You’re like a habit I can’t fucking shake.”
I squeeze the handle tighter.
“You’ll survive.”
“No, I won’t.”
“When I don’t see you… I spend the whole day fucking looking for you anyway. Somehow, you got under my skin. I breathe you in like fucking nicotine, burning my lungs with every breath until I’m left suffocating. I realize that now, and I know it’s too late, but it doesn’t have to be. This doesn’t have to be how our story ends.”
“You don’t get to decide how this ends anymore,” I bite back, the words hitting harder than I expected as a dead silence floods around the room, because I recognize those words from one of the anonymous messages. One more fucking lie wrapped in familiarity. One more reminder that every step toward them had been built on nothing more than deception.
Sasha says nothing, no doubt finally realizing that I’ve caught onto their sick fucking game. There’s no way in God's fresh hell that I’m sticking around to give them a chance to try to hurt me again. It’s psychological warfare.
“You poison me, Lennon.”
I close my eyes to stop the tears from stinging them.
“You burn every goddamn part of me.”
Every word wedges beneath my ribs. They’re everything I spent weeks waiting to hear. Everything I hoped he would never say for the sake of my position as their coach, but wanting so desperately for him to say them anyway. For this to be more than just a cry for fucking help. A mistake on all our parts.
They’re dangerous. Ars Mortis is fucking dangerous, and I can’t do this.
“Baby…” Sasha murmurs, making me stop dead in my tracks. Turning, I sneer at the man who has my blood boiling, at the pack I should have felt safe with, who should have given me love and a life. The men I thought I was beginning to understand, and started, against every instinct for self-preservation, to trust.
“I’m not your fucking baby, Sasha Volkov.”
