Page 9 of Noticing Natalie
“Don’t walk away from me,” she screamed. She was losing her shit. “No one breaks up with me!”
“Fuck off,” I said calmly, as I walked back into the Mexican restaurant and sat down with my table of friends.
***
Over the next few months, I mainly hung out with Natalie. She and I played with her tortoises, who she’d named Anne and Gilbert after the two main characters ofAnne of Green Gables. We were pretty sure they were both boys, but neither of us thought Anne would mind. The tortoise, that is. Not the fictional character.
I’d found out the hard way that young love rarely lasts. I’d also found out to trust the people closest to you. Nat had told me over and over that Annika wasn’t a good person, but I hadn’t believed her.
It turned out that Annika hadn’t just been with Paulie. She’d been with half the guys in our grade. It was shocking to find out that I’d trusted her so blindly and that I’d been oblivious about her many hook-ups with other guys.
I didn’t exactly vow to never have another girlfriend, but I’d found that I was having a really hard time trusting anyone. I slowly found myself turning into a one and done kind of guy. I hated the term hit it and quit it, but that’s basically who I was now. I always made sure the girls knew what was up before going on a date with them.
I could tell Nat, my older sister Sadie, and my parents were disappointed in me. It felt bad, but not bad enough to put my heart on the line again. Besides, there wasn’t anyone else in town I was interested in having a relationship with anyway.
So, I’d just started fucking around. The first girl I was with had been Jayne. After I’d told her what Paulie and Annika did, she was devastated. Then she asked me to take her virginity to get back at both of them, and we fucked a few times where Paulie and Annika were sure to run across us.
Was it petty? Hell, yes. Was it also a way for both of us to heal? Absolutely. Annika lost most of her friends after what she did to me became widely known. It wasn’t long before she and her family moved away, and I know she was relieved to get a fresh start somewhere else. Small towns can be rough when the gossip turned against you, whether it was deserved or not. I felt sorry for whoever fell for her next.
The way my relationship with Annika ended changed me, and there didn’t seem to be any going back. I had loved her, and that love had made me naïve. I would never let that happen to me again. It wasn’t long before my new reputation as a player solidified, and it just became who I was.
And for the most part I was fine with it. I fucked all the pretty girls I wanted to in town, and somehow remained friends with them afterwards.
The only real relationships I had with women were my family members and Nat. And I was just fine keeping it that way forever.
CHAPTER THREE
Natalie
“Are you sure I look okay?” I asked nervously. I was standing in Sadie’s room and staring at my reflection in her floor length mirror.
“You look beautiful,” Lynne said, a huge smile on her face. There were tears swimming in her pretty blue eyes, and I had to look away. I knew she was thinking about my mom.
I swallowed hard, doing my best not to think about anything sad. I was wearing more makeup than I’ve ever worn in my life, and I didn’t want to have to sit there while Sadie and Alexis re-did it.
“You look really nice,” Alexis said, which from her is a major compliment.
“Thanks,” I said, hating that my voice was shaky. It was just… so emotional.
I was at the Summers’ house and wearing a gauzy pink dress with a tight bodice and balloon skirt with little crystals sewn into it. My aunt, my mom’s twin sister, sent it to me from Paris. I had to admit; it looked like it was made for me. I kind of wondered if it was. She had asked for my measurements.
Thinking about Aunt Sabine was difficult. I hadn’t seen her in person since I was ten. It was at my mother’s funeral. It had been so eerie standing and holding hands with my dad while I watched Aunt Sabine. She looked exactly like my mother,standing there all in black. It was like seeing my mom attend her own funeral.
I wasn’t the only one who was freaked out by it. The whole funeral and graveside service was overshadowed by her presence. She’d held her head high and pretended not to notice that everyone’s eyes were glued to her. And for once it wasn’t just because she was beautiful.
She’d hugged me at the funeral, asked my dad if she could come by the next day to take me shopping and do some fun things. He’d said no. Then she went back to Paris.
I begged Dad to invite her to come back at the holidays or in the summer.
Dad had always said no.
I had my suspicions that it was because he couldn’t stand looking at her since he’d lost Mom. I guessed it didn’t help that I was very slowly starting to look almost exactly like my mother as well.
At least in the face. The rest of me? Not so much. Mom and Sabine were tall with nice curves. I was… not. I was stick thin and short. In fact, I’d developed so slowly that Lynne had finally taken me to see a doctor about it. He’d diagnosed me with primary amenorrhea and said he thought it was caused by either being a ‘late bloomer’ or the massive psychological stress from losing my mother and dealing with an emotionally checked-out father.
I wasn’t sure if it was coincidence or not, but I’d actually started my period, finally, a few months later. I’d slowly started to develop a bit, and for the first time I actually needed a bra. I was ridiculously excited about it.
Now I was eighteen and almost a high school graduate. I was wearing the prettiest dress I’d ever seen, along with pink spiky heels I’d had to learn how to walk in over the past couple of weeks. I’d practiced with Alexis. Sadie was back and forth fromcollege and didn’t have tons of time. But she’d made sure to be here tonight to do my makeup while Alexis did my hair.
