Page 54 of The Ice Prince's Fated Mate
He eyed me, and his mouth opened to ask a question, but before the words came out, he backed away from the wall and set me down gently.
“I pushed too hard. Didn’t I?” he asked softly. “I’m sorry. I should have known better. You said only kisses, and then I brought you up here where we’re alone, and then your neck and I just started and I just … I’m sorry, Ella. I’m sorry I failed you.”
He backed away from me while I searched for the words to tell him no, it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. That I was the one who couldn’t do this, because on the inside, I was empty, and it hurt.
“I’m sorry,” he said one more time and then hopped over the edge of the balcony, his wings already sprouting from his back to carry him to safety.
I reached for him to try to stop. He needed to know it wasn’t his fault. That he wasn’t responsible for the wet blanket that was thrown over everything building between us.
It was me, and my past, and my broken self-confidence. I was the one who ruined the moment.
But it was too late. He was gone, and once again things between us sucked.
I went over to the balcony and sat with my back to it, taking deep breaths and blinking rapidly, trying to keep myself under control
It had been going sowell. I could still feel his lips on mine, the brush of his stubble and the heat of his body as it wrapped me in a warmth I already missed. I wanted him back. I wanted to feel small and safe in his arms once more.
Droplets ran down my cheek as I stared at my palms, cradling my head against my knees with them.
Why did I have to go and let myself think? I could have just shut my brain off and enjoyed the here and now.
The problem, though, wasn’t today. It was yesterday, and the effects it would have on tomorrow, the future. Because at some point the topic would come up if we kept growing closer, kept exploring what these marks meant for our future.
A future I can’t give him. Even if I’m no longer completely against the idea myself.
That decision had been taken from me a long time ago. And there was no fixing it.
Or me.
Twenty-Six
Dirk
“Enough. I give,” Kolar gasped as I squeezed.
He tapped my arm three times, and I let him go. He flopped to the padded floor, lying in a puddle of his own sweat, chest rising and falling as he struggled to regain his breath.
I stepped away from his body and assumed a similar position but on my back, my arms and legs all but melting into the floor. My lungs worked hard as I stared up at the ceiling.
Despite the exhaustion in my muscles from rounds of lifting weights and sparring in the gym, a lump of ice so cold it burned still lived within me. But it wasn’t energy. It was anger.
How could I have been so stupid!
It was easy to see that I had pushed Ella too far. She wasn’t ready for that kind of intensity between us, and it had overwhelmed her. Now, just as she had finally marked me for the first time, I had gone and thrown a huge roadblock in the path of us becoming fully bonded.
The most frustrating part was that I knew better. Iknewwhat she had been through recently. My fingers tightened as I relived those first few nights after Yarl’s slave collar had been removed from her neck.
I would never forget the screams. More than once, I had found myself at her door, as if I could ward off the evil that was tormenting her. From the start, there had been an undercurrent to her pain that had drawn me in, but nothing like now. At least that was one mystery solved.
The theory that the slave collar had scrambled her dragon, and thus confused mine, made perfect sense. They hadn’t been able to recognize one another in the aftermath, and only after I left for a time did the mate bond snap into place.
I rubbed at my chest and the marks there. The rich browns shot through with streaks of golden lightning. It was a beautiful combination, one I had seen mirrored in her eyes on two occasions, though I longed to see it more. I could stare into them, memorizing every line, and never get bored in a thousand years.
But that wasn’t what Ella needed right now.
She needs time and space. And as her mate, it’s your job to provide it for her.
“You okay?”
