Page 2 of The Sainted Duchess
Of course, she would not add the worst thought: that Nicholas, with all his goodness, would not wish to keep too near a sister who had spent most of her life in a nunnery.
“It is only what I want,” she said again, and fixed a smile.
Violet looked at her for a long moment, saw the wall, and respected it.
“Very well. Then we will be strategic. No card rooms. And if a gentleman tries to approach, I shall block him with my skirts.”
That made Maria laugh, which was relief enough that she could have hugged Violet then and there. They drifted forward, and for a handful of minutes, she almost managed to look like someone who belonged to herself.
Until the whispers began. Two ladies hovered near a cluster of roses, voices lowered to the tone society uses for pity that bleeds amusement.
“Poor thing. Is she the quiet one from…well.”
“The very one. Duke of Hargrave’s sister. A curiosity. So… wholesome.”
A curiosity.It should not come as a surprise that the ton was speaking about her in such a manner. They did not know anything about her, only that she had appeared after many years of spending her entire life inside a nunnery and now had to adjust to a society that she had never known.
She tried to ignore their chatter, but it did not appear that they wished to stop at any point soon. In fact, they continued on. As though it was their god given right to gossip in such a manner.
“Wholesome? My dear, there is more of her than of most. How much ribbon must that modiste have used? I would rather use the wordwhole.”
“Whole, or perhaps too much.”
“Yes, Duchess of Hargrave looks elegant next to her. What a shame, letting herself go like that.”
Perhaps too much.
Maria felt her cheeks redden. It was one thing for her past to be discussed with curiosity, but another thing entirely for them to comment on her physical appearance with such callousness.
Violet’s fan went still. She did not turn her head but simply took Maria’s hand and redirected her toward a safer corner, as if they had never meant to go that way at all.
“I heard them,” Maria said miserably.
“I did too,” Violet replied, “They are idle and cruel and will be idiotic about something else tomorrow.”
“They laughed,” Maria whispered, “At my figure.”
She was not as petite as the other ladies, perhaps, but it was not something she was made to feel so self-conscious about until now. Was her plumpness really cause for that much alarm?
Violet’s mouth thinned.
“They laughed because they are bored and because they haven’t looked at themselves in the mirror lately either. I am bored as well, and I am not laughing.”
Maria attempted a smile, but it was only half-hearted. The truth was that her body was hers, and it was good, and she liked it well enough when she forgot to be seen. But the room had a way of making one’s own skin feel like a costume badly fitted. She folded her fan, unfolded it, folded it again.
“Look at me,” Violet said gently. Maria did. “You do not have to marry to silence them.”
“I am not marrying to silence anyone,” Maria said, and cut her off because she could hear the rest coming, “This is what I want.”
“And you are certain of it?”
Violet was really pressing her for an answer, and Maria could tell that she was well-intentioned. Bless her.
But she could not give her the real reason as to why she desperately hoped to secure herself a match as soon as shepossibly could. No, it was only something that she would keep to herself. What use was there to air out all of one's thoughts?
Besides, it was not something that Violet would understand. She had a warm heart and did not see why Maria felt like such a burden to her and Nicholas. It was kind of her, but it did not ease the feeling in her chest.
She was a burden. And the only way to stop being was to secure a match for herself.
