Page 81 of The Duke on Her List
“Because you matter to us,” Gabriel said. “Because…because we love you, Agnes.”
No. Not good enough.
“Because I love you, Agnes.”
She sucked in a breath and stared at him, her eyes wide.
“I knew it the moment I kissed you,” he said. But that wasn’t right either. “No, I knew it before that. I knew it when I danced with you in the rain. I knew it when I asked you to marry me and I was secretly hoping that you would say yes, even though I knew you wouldn’t.”
She shook her head slowly. “No, you weren’t hoping that.” Her voice broke. “You weren’t.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because…because it was a farce. You said so yourself. You would never have asked at all if it hadn’t been on my list.”
“No,” he agreed. “If it hadn’t been on your list, I wouldn’t have.”
“So how can you say you were hoping that the answer would be yes?”
“I didn’t know it until that moment,” he told her earnestly. “I didn’t know it until it was happening. Suddenly I was saying those words to you and I realized I wanted a different answer than the one we’d planned on. And it terrified me, Agnes, because itwasn’tthe plan, and because my whole life has been about following the plans I set out for myself. And because I knew what you were going to say, so hoping for anything else was foolish and frightening. What could I do? How could I allow myself to want something I knew I would never have? And yet I did want it. From that moment on, I wanted it—I wanted you.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t say these things,” she breathed.
“Why not?” He leaned forward, reckless now that the words were finally coming out. “Why shouldn’t I say what’s true, Agnes? Why shouldn’t I tell you what you mean to me? What’s the worst that can happen now—you reject me? You’ve already done that. You’ve already told me that there’s no point in our continuing on together. Well, I don’t agree with it. I think there’s every point. I think there’s every reason, because I am in love with you. I never meant to fall in love with anyone in my life, but it happened just the same, and now here we are. I won’t pretend otherwise. I’m going to say it, and whatever happens will just be what happens.”
She shook her head vigorously. “If you don’t stop, I won’t be able to keep my feelings to myself.”
His heart pounded. “Don’t keep them to yourself,” he urged, heat racing up and down his spine. “If you feel even a fraction of of what I do, you must tell me. If you truly feel nothing forme then I’ll call a carriage at once and have you returned home, and I’ll never trouble you again. But if you’ve shared any of these thoughts, if you would be happy to continue on with me—to maybe even become my wife in reality, not as a trick to fool people—please tell me. Please let me know that I’m not throwing my heart away.”
The few seconds before she answered were the longest Gabriel had ever endured. Nothing had ever been more excruciating. Whatever she said next, he knew, was going to define the shape of the rest of his life.
“Gabriel,” she murmured. “How can you not know? How can you have any doubt? When I kissed you—you couldn’t tell? You didn’t realize then what you meant to me, how much I love you?”
Her words flowed through him like cool water, and yet he hardly dared to believe it. “Say it again,” he commanded.
She met his eyes, and now she was smiling. “I love you,” she murmured. “I’ve loved you all this time.”
He rose to his feet, crossed the room in a single step, and pulled her from her chair. The next moment, his mouth was on hers. He kissed her like a drowning man getting his first taste of oxygen, realizing that he was going to live after all.
Once more, her body melted into his, and Gabriel couldn’t believe his good fortune.
He separated from her just enough to look her in the eyes. She was smiling now, though tears were streaming down her cheeks. He caught one on his thumb. “It’s all right,” he murmured. “Everything’s going to be all right now. We let this get away from us, but I’ll never let you get away from me again, I promise you that.”
She embraced him, and he relished a moment of holding her close. He was thankful for his own courage in daring to confess his feelings for her, and thankful for how quick she had been to respond to him. She had never been the sort to leave anyone in doubt about her feelings—he should have known he would receive an answer right away.
“Do you suppose Helena will let us out now?” she asked, laughing through her tears. “I would like to tell her what’s happened.”
“Yes, I think she’ll want to know.” Gabriel let go of Agnes, but he couldn’t release her completely. Not now that she was properly his at last. He took her by the hand, led her over to the door, and knocked on it.
“Helena,” he called, “you’d better let us out now. We’ve got a wedding to plan.”
CHAPTER 38
“And why is he coming to visit me, after everything?” Reeves asked Agnes. “I thought we’d seen the back of your friend the duke.”
“I know things have been complicated,” Agnes told her brother. “But all things considered, I think you will want to meet with him today.”
“Well, I surely wouldn’t count on it,” Reeves grumbled. “He’s been disrespectful of you and of this family.”
