Page 67 of The Duke on Her List
“That’s true,” Jonathan put in. “She doesn’t have a mother. At the very least she could use an aunt—someone to guide her as she moves through the trials of her own coming out.”
Gabriel opened his mouth to argue—but then he paused.
Maybe they had a point. After all, how quickly had Helena been drawn to Agnes? How clear was it that shehadwanted a woman in her life? He had thought that was about Agnes’ rebellious nature, but maybe it was something much simpler than that. Maybe she wanted a woman to look up to.
“It might be good for Helena to have a woman around,” he admitted grudgingly, though he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t as if he was going to act on the idea, even if he did concede the point to them.
“We could help you find someone,” Nathaniel said.
Well, at least it had gotten them to stop talking about?—
“Unless, of course, you’d like to try to win Lady Agnes back. Perhaps there’s hope there yet. I’m sure it isn’t a lost cause, if she’s the one you want.”
He closed his eyes briefly. This was exactly what he had not wanted to happen. “It is a lost cause,” he said, his voice tight. “You must trust my word on that. I know what happened between Agnes and myself, and I can tell you definitively that things are over. She would never return to me.”
“But you would have her back if she did.”
“There’s just no point in talking about such things,” Gabriel said. “My time with Agnes is at an end, and frankly, I don’t wish to discuss her any further. If you feel the need to continue with that topic, the two of you may do so elsewhere and leave me out of it.”
It was a blatant invitation to gossip, and perhaps that was unwise, but Gabriel couldn’t stand listening to them speculate about this any longer. It was too painful. It called to mind all the wonderful moments he’d had with Agnes, and he could do nothing but recall the fact that they were now at an end. He would have no more time with her. There wouldn't be another meeting, another shared joke, the thrill of crossing another item off that list of hers.
I don’t even know what we could cross off anymore, though. What’s left for the two of us to experience together? How many more daring things could we possibly do without crossing a line we wouldn’t be able to come back from?
Or had they already crossed a line they wouldn’t be able to come back from?
Maybe they had. Maybe they had reached the point at which it would be impossible to look at one another without some sort of desire. Certainly, Gabriel knew that if he ever saw her again, he was going to want to kiss her, and how could that possibly last?
He got to his feet. “I think the two of you ought to go,” he said, his voice tight. “I think I’d like to be alone.”
Nathaniel shook his head. “Don’t send us off,” he said. “I know we’ve been teasing you, Gabriel, but truly, we care for you. We want to help you find the best way through this.”
“No help is required,” Gabriel said firmly.
“You don’t even want to try to reach out to her?”
“Nathaniel, believe me. I know Agnes well at this point. I understand her. I know what she would want from me.” He swallowed. “The best thing I can do here is to leave her be. It’s what she would ask, if she were here to make a request, and I have enough respect for her to honor what I know she wants.”
“But you don’t know,” Jonathan spoke up. “You can never know what another person wants unless you ask them. You’re just assuming.”
“No,” Gabriel said. “I’m not assuming. I know based on all the time I’ve known her. All the time she and I have spent together. This is what she would ask me to do, and I have every intention of doing it.”
He opened the door and held it, waiting.
His friends got the message. They rose to their feet and took their leave, murmuring their farewells to him as they went.
And then, finally, Gabriel was alone, finally at peace.
But the thoughts of Agnes still plagued him.
CHAPTER 31
Lady Agnes’ List of Improper Ideas:
Read a scandalous book
