Page 42 of The Duke on Her List
She liked Gabriel. She enjoyed the time they spent together.
But it wasn’t the best offer she could hope to get, because it wasn’t real, no matter how real he was making it feel.
She closed her eyes tightly.
“No.” she said, and her voice was firm this time. “I understand what you’re offering, Gabriel. Truly I do. If we are both devoted to remaining single, there’s almost no reason not to marry. To join our fortunes and our lives, and to work together for mutual benefit moving forward. We’ve already proven to be good at that. I know I can rely on you, and you on me. But even so…this was never what I wanted. It’s not what I want. You’ve given me the experience I asked you for and then some here. More than I could ever have expected. And I’m saying no.”
She opened her eyes just in time to watch him rise to his feet.
“All right,” he told her quietly, his eyes searching hers. “You have your answer then, yes? You know what you would say to a proposal if one was offered. You know that you are a spinster by your own choice. You don’t have to doubt it.”
She nodded slowly. “You really did all that to give me such certainty?”
“If we were going to do this at all,” he said, “we were going to do it right. I told you that I committed to helping you with your list, and I meant what I said. We are going to complete the items on that list together, and we’re not going to cheat or do anything halfway.”
She closed her eyes for another moment, remembering what lay ahead on the list and wondering whether he would hold to the same conviction if he knew. “I really didn’t expect a serious proposal,” she said. “I wouldn’t have thought you would be capable of giving me one, knowing that I intended to say no to it. Gabriel…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say. Her heart was beating madly.
I almost said yes.
I could never have said yes. It would have been so wrong.
But there was so much of me that wanted to.
He had done this to prove to her that she would be able to say no to a proposal if one was offered, and that had happened. But now she had to wonder—what if she had felt truly free to say yes?
Had she turned him down because she was certain of her unwillingness to marry?
Or had she done it only because she couldn’t bring herself to betray the fact that she’d told him she wouldn’t accept?
The truth was, she honestly didn’t know.
He nodded. His hand lifted for the barest moment, and she thought perhaps he meant to touch her cheek. She had time to realize that if he tried to do that, she would let him.
“It’s important to know that your life is what you want it to be,” he murmured. “I’m glad you feel confident that you’re living the way you want to live. I’m glad I was able to be a part of this.”
Her breathing was still coming far too fast. Anxiety filled her, and she almost wished hewouldtouch her, if only to break the tension.
She wished the maid was still in the room.
She was grateful that the maid had gone.
“You deserve happiness, whatever that looks like for you,” Gabriel said. “And I don’t want you to doubt my sincerity, Agnes. I was sure you would say no to me. I know you well enough to be certain. But if you had said yes…”
He trailed off without clarifying what he would have done.
She wondered whether he knew.
His hand found hers, and he pulled her close almost unconsciously.
Is he going to kiss me? There’s no possibility he would do that now. Would he?
They were interrupted by a knock at the door.
Agnes pulled back and took a step away, putting several feet of space between the two of them. They couldn’t be caught like this. She stared at him for a moment, waiting to see what he would do, and then hurried toward one of the bookshelves and faced it, her cheeks flaming.
“Come in,” Gabriel said. His voice was strangely quiet.
The door opened, and footsteps entered the room. “Your Grace, you have guests.”
