Page 52 of The Duke on Her List
Agnes’ heart raced.
Technically, the two of them weren’t doing anything wrong. There were two maids in the room with them, both of them working on building the evening fire. Not only that, but the door was open, and if Reeves was suspicious, he could always come and check on them.
Agnes hoped he wouldn’t.
This moment alone with Gabriel wasn’t like any of the other moments the two of them had shared, though she couldn’t have said exactly why she felt that way. There was just something different about it. Something stolen and precious. She glanced at the hallway again and saw that it was still empty.
“I really need to thank you,” Gabriel said quietly.
She looked up at him. His gaze was gentle. “You do?”
“I know I was angry when I got here,” he said. “I know I was harder on you than I should have been.”
“You were worried about Helena.”
“Not as worried as I made out I was,” he said. “I did know the letter had come from you. I invented other possibilities in my mind and frightened myself with them, but really, I knew it was you all along. The handwriting gave you away.”
She nodded. “Even so…it really never occurred to me that you might be worried she wasn’t with me,” she said. “So you don’t need to apologize at all. If I had been thinking about what you were going through, I would have handled things differently.”
“Why don’t we both just admit to one another that we could have done better?” Gabriel suggested.
“I can agree to that.”
“And so now will you allow me to thank you?” he asked. “Because the truth is that you kept Helena safe. Last night could have been a crisis, but it wasn’t, and that’s because you were there. I never thought I would say this, but I’m so very glad Helena has you in her life.”
“You think of it that way?” Agnes asked. “You consider me someone she has in her life?”
“Most certainly. She was able to come to you for help when she needed it,” Gabriel said. “I’m unendingly grateful for that. You didn’t have to take her in last night.”
“I couldn’t possibly have done anything else, Gabriel,” Agnes said softly.
“No, you probably couldn’t have,” he agreed. “And for that, I’m very thankful. Please accept the compliment.”
Warmth poured through her. “All right,” she said, “I accept it.”
“Thank you.”
“Thankyou,” she countered. “I’m glad to know Helena. I’m glad for the opportunity to be a part of her life, and I know that’s not something you had to allow either of us to have.” She hesitated. “I’ve never had someone look up to me before. I never thought I everwouldhave something like that. You know, I’ve always said that it doesn’t bother me to know people think badly of me. It doesn’t bother me to have a bad reputation. And that’s true—but I didn’t know how wonderful it would feel to realize that there was someone who thoughthighlyof me. To know that someone like Helena sees me as a person she can look up to, and what’s more, that you don’t object to it…that’s not something I’ve ever had. It’s not something I ever believed Icouldhave.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever feel that way about you either,” Gabriel admitted. “You frightened me when I first met you. I thought you were lawless. Wild. Out of control.”
“Well, you did meet me breaking into your house to steal something,” she laughed, remembering that first encounter. “I can’t really blame you for assuming the worst about me after that.”
“But I was wrong in that assumption,” he said. “The better I get to know you, the more aware I am of that fact. You have wonderfully strong character, and I’m lucky my niece has had the chance to meet a lady like you. I’m glad she knows it’s possible for a lady to be as strong and determined as you are, and that she doesn’t just have to settle for being told what to do in life. She has a voice, and I want her to use it, just as you do.”
“Even if it means she ends up challenging you?”
“She should challenge me,” Gabriel said. “I want her to learn how to assert herself, and I am the person she ought to practice that skill on, because no harm will come to her. She’s safe in rebelling against me because I will always love her, no matter what.”
Agnes smiled. “Reeves doesn’t realize this,” she said, “but that’s exactly the way I’ve always felt about him. Even when he hasn’t approved of my choices, I’ve never doubted that he cares for me. What you said about it is exactly right—it’s a safe way to test yourself, to experience your ideas about the world. And…well, the truth is, Gabriel, I’m beginning to have that impression about you as well. I never fear that you’re going to judge me, or that I’m going to go too far for you. I feel as if I can be myself in your presence and that you’ll always accept me, no matter what it turns out to look like.”
“I think that’s fair to say,” Gabriel said. “In fact, I’d go one further.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not just accepting the rebellious side of you,” he told her. “I’m enjoying it. I can’t quite believe I’m saying this, but…the truth is that I would miss that side of you if it was gone. It’s what I enjoy most about you.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Ireallynever thought anyone would say that,” she said. “That you actually like this thing about me that everyone has looked down on for so long…you are a very odd man, you know.”
