Page 35 of The Duke on Her List
CHAPTER 17
Dancing with Agnes was important. It created the illusion that Gabriel was spoken for, that he was on the verge of marriage, and that he ought to be left alone by the ladies of the ton and their eager mamas.
He needed that illusion. He needed people to understand that he was off-limits to them.
But dancing with Agnes was doing something else, too—something he had never expected.
He was enjoying it.
He liked the way it felt to hold her in his arms. He liked the knowledge that people were looking at him and tying him to this beautiful lady in their minds.
Best of all, he liked it when she spoke to him. Everything she had to say was interesting.
“It’s amazing, isn't it?” she asked as they whirled.
“What’s amazing?” He was prepared to agree, no matter what she said. He was certain it would be amazing.
“That we were just at a gentlemen’s club the other day, and now we’re here,” she explained. “I mean, I’m sure it doesn’t seem that extraordinary to you. You can do those things all the time. But to me, this has been very rare.”
“I do understand what you mean,” he told her. “Of course it’s odd—the fact that we’ve been in such vastly different places in such a short span of time. I can understand why you feel a little shell-shocked.”
“Not shell-shocked at all,” she countered. “I’m enjoying it immensely. This was exactly what I wanted—to get out and experience more of the world. To see things I wouldn’t otherwise have had the opportunity to see. And when was I ever going to see the inside of a club like that one? I feel as if my world has truly come to life over the last few weeks, thanks to the time you and I have spent together.”
“I’m glad you feel that way.” He gave her a smile. “It would hardly be worth it otherwise.”
“But you understand that we can never tell my brother about any of those things, don’t you?” she asked. “We can never let him find out about any of the things we’ve done together. He might like you now, but I don’t think he’ll care for you very much if he learns about the exploits we’ve been carrying out.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re saying I shouldn’t tell your brother that I helped you dress as a man and sneak into a gentlemen’s club? Or that I gave you access to a piece of salacious literature?”
“Maybe you think it goes without saying.”
“Obviously it goes without saying. I wouldn’t dream of telling him,” Gabriel assured her. “What purpose would it serve? If I wanted to stop you, I wouldn’t be helping you. All it would do is make him despise me, and make it that much more difficult for you to complete that list of yours, and I don’t want either of those things to happen.”
“He would forbid me from ever seeing you again. This courtship, such as it is, would be over.”
That surprised Gabriel. “Would it?” he asked. “I only mean to say—does he have the power to forbid you from doing things? You’ve never struck me particularly as someone who listens to anybody’s commands. Do you mean to say that if he told you never to associate with me again, you would obey?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s difficult to answer that. You’re right that I don’t usually take orders—but I’m not usually given them. Reeves learned a long time ago that I wasn’t someone he could easily control. He hasn’t often tried. When I told him that I wanted to become a spinster, I could see that he was disappointed in the choice, but he never tried to stop me. He never even tried to talk me out of it.”
“And yet, you’re sure that he’s going to be disappointed when he finds out we aren’t really going to be married,” Gabriel remarked. “You don’t think there’s even a chance he might simply take it in stride? It wouldn’t be as if he was learning anything unknown about you, since you’ve always been reluctant to marry.”
“I know,” Agnes agreed. “But the way he reacted when he heard that you and I were courting…no, I think we’ve given him false hope here. He genuinely thinks that something might come of this, even though I tried to be as honest as I could without giving the game away altogether. I told him that I had no particular goal of getting married, and that I didn’t know if you did either. Still, I can tell he’s hoping for it, and I hate to dash his hopes.” She sighed. “This is going to be difficult, unfortunately.”
“We’ll find a way through it,” he told her.
“We won’t do anything,” she corrected. “When this is over, we’ll go our separate ways, and you won’t have anything to do with what comes after. I’m the one who’s going to be left to explain to my brother.”
“No,” he clarified. “Don’t you remember what you and I agreed on when all this began? The arrangement was that I would take the blame for the end of our courtship. When we part ways, it will be made to seem as though the whole thing is my fault.”
She sighed. “I know we said that,” she agreed. “But how can I put that on your shoulders? It’s unfair. It would be better for us to part ways mutually.”
“I’m not going to let that happen,” he said firmly. “I won’t spend all this time profiting off our relationship only to leave you in harm’s way when all is said and done. I’m not willing to put your reputation at risk like that.”
“You know I don’t care for my reputation,” she reminded him.
“And you know I don’t want to be considered a viable candidate for marriage at the end of these affairs. It actively benefits me if I come out of this looking like the villain,” he said. “That’s why I want to do it.”
“So it’s not for my sake?” She smiled at him.
