OnlyIget to fuck with his head.
8
PRESTON
Me
Guess where I am?
I’m glad you asked! Late-night skating in the arena all alone. I’ll grace you with my company, so come on over, bitches!
Kane
Can’t tonight.
Boo. You’re with Debby, aren’t you?
Kane
Her name is Dahlia.
Nobody cares. Bros before hoes, Kane, ever heard of that?
Kane
She’s not a hoe. Don’t make me punch you in the dick, Pres.
So scared. Not. @JudeCallahan, where are you, man? Let’s play! We’ll send pussy-whipped Kane a video of us kicking ass. Oh! Hold on, changing Kane’s name to that in my contacts while I still remember.
Jude
I’m not available, Pres. I’ll take a rain check.
Hey! The fuck is wrong with you two? Want me to revoke your friendship rights, is that it? Prepare to have the most boringlife ever without me.
Kane
Stop being dramatic.
I’m the dramatic one for wanting to skate before tomorrow’s game like we ALWAYS do? Oh, I’m sorry, did I perturb your fuck-fest, Kane?
Jude
There’s no fuck-fest. Couldn’t you tell from how grumpy he was during practice these last couple of days that they’ve been fighting?
Hallelujah! Diana is not good for you, Kane. She’s the Wolves’ spy, remember?
Kane
Just because she went out with Osborn for two weeks doesn’t make her their spy.
Sure does. Isn’t that right, Jude?
Jude
Possibly reaching.
You’re supposed to say “You’re totally right, Pres. Nice catch.” I’ll forgive you for your insolence if you join me. Everyone knows I’m the entire circulatory system of the party.