Page 36 of Nothing Left
Every logical part of my brain screams against it.
Yet despite my mind, my traitorous body responds anyway.
19
Maya
The next morning, I wake up completely paralyzed.
Graham has his massive arms wrapped around me so tightly it feels like he’s trying to fuse our lungs together so I can never take a breath that doesn’t belong to him. Yet, he has never looked more relaxed. The creases that usually furrow his forehead and harden the edges of his mouth have smoothed out in sleep.
I slept with my sister’s ex-husband.
I let him pump his sperm into my womb.
I am not as good and pure as I used to imagine myself to be.
I am just as bad as Valeria.
She let the darkness swallow her whole until she went crazy, while I tried to bury my own deep in the dirt—but the darkness always finds a way to bleed through.
It takes me fifteen minutes to untangle myself from his limbs without waking him. Once I’m free, I wash the scent of our sin from my skin, and when I go to get dressed, I reach for the diamond jewelry he bought me yesterday.
I walk out wearing easily $400,000 worth of jewels, and I don’t even know why. Maybe because, for the first time in my miserable life, I tasted what it felt like to be someone, and I’mterrified to let it go. Or maybe… maybe I want to spite the woman I’m going to see today.
My sister.
I only know which asylum she’s locked inside because I bartered for the information, exchanging a blowjob with Graham just to ensure she got a luxury suite.
Do I regret it?
No.
At the end of the day, she’s still my blood.
But why do I feel this toxic itch to spite her?
I don’t know.
Every step I take makes me ache between the legs. The ache gets even worse as I gingerly sneak down the staircase, grab the keys to the Porsche, and slip out into the driveway.
I effectively stole my sister’s life.
But what if this life was always supposed to be mine? What if Valeria just stole it from me for the first few months?
I input the asylum’s coordinates into the GPS and coast up to the security gates, waiting to see if the guards will lock me in.
They don’t.
The iron gates swing open smoothly.
I’ve always had the feeling that I am free to come and go from the mansion exactly as I please. Graham loves the chase, after all.
When I park and walk inside the asylum, my heart feels like it’s going to explode and take out some of my organs with it.
I give the receptionist my name and tell her who I’m here to see.
She offers a grim look.
