Page 80 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“Gotta be sober in time for the rodeo, so they drink in the mornin’.”
“Christ.”Victor put his hands on his hips and looked down at Johnny with barely contained frustration.“You’re supposed to be sober.”
“You don’t gotta tell me.”Johnny rubbed his jaw, which hadn’t been shaved in a few days.“I fuckin’ know.But you ain’t got a clue how hard it is to watch all my rodeo buddies ride while I sit here useless.My whole dream for my life, blown up in my face.”He made an explosion sound and threw up his hands.“Just needed somethin’ to get through the day.”
“Then maybe don’t show up drunk in front of your niece.”
“She’s seen me drunk plenty of times.”
“Is that supposed to comfort me?”
“I’m just sayin’, she knows I’m fucked up.Wouldn’t be the first time I disappointed her.”He sank deeper into his chair and leaned his head back until his hat tipped off.His eyes were bloodshot, his face ruddy.Victor wondered if he’d even slept at all.“Sobriety’s really kickin’ my ass.”
“Don’t you have some kind of sponsor you can call?Isn’t that how AA works?”
“Yeah, I guess.”Johnny shrugged.“I just got tired of it all.Don’t give a shit right now.”
Victor stood staring at him with arms akimbo, trying to work out something to say.
“Some ‘o this is your fault,” Johnny muttered, peering at Victor with narrowed eyes.
“Oh really?I put a beer in your hand?”
“Might as well.You never told me you were goin’ on a date.”
Victor rolled his eyes.“Grow up and get over it.”
“Fuck you.”Johnny rolled over onto his side with a groan.“I don’t feel so good.”
“Why don’t you lay down in here and sober up?Then we can have a conversation.Right now I don’t wanna look at you.”
“It’s never felt this bad before.”
“It’s because you haven’t been drunk in months.”Victor picked up Johnny’s hat and set it on the tack trunk so he could retrieve it when he was in a state to leave the chair.When he moved around Johnny toward the stall door, Johnny grabbed his hand and held him back.Victor opened his mouth to complain, but Johnny’s bleary, miserable gaze stopped the protest on his lips.
“Can you put me down like Old Yeller?”he mumbled with a slow blink.“I’m tired of bein’ a fuckin’ disappointment.”
Victor sighed, grabbed a large bottle from the tack trunk, and put it into the cupholder on one of the chair’s armrests.“Drink some water and take a nap.We’ll talk later.”
Johnny squeezed his hand before dropping it and curling up into a ball in the lawn chair.Victor left the stall, sliding the door shut to keep anyone from looking inside.Maybe it was time for him to check out the cows, too.
CHAPTER 23
Victor, Jade, and his boarders had dinner together at a local burger joint before retiring for the night.Victor took one last walk through the barn to make sure all the horses had full water buckets and hay nets before he headed to the hotel, where he flopped down on the bed and laid there with his face pressed into the comforter for a few minutes.What he needed now was a shower, because he smelled like horses and was covered in a fine layer of hay dust.
After his shower, he threw on a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt and padded back to his bed where he’d dropped his phone.When he tapped the screen, he saw Johnny’s name and number show up with a text.Frowning, Victor opened it.
What room are you in
Victor replied,214, why?
Johnny didn’t answer, but five minutes later there was a knock on his door.Victor unlocked the chain and opened the door enough to stick his head out.There was Johnny standing in the hallway, still wearing the same outfit he’d had on since yesterday.At some point, he’d lost his cowboy hat.It was rare to see him without it.Thankfully he seemed sober, but his expression was drawn, and the bags under his eyes spoke to his exhaustion.The man had been through it.
“What are you doing here?Where’s Taylor?”
“I’m in a room downstairs.Taylor’s asleep.”
“Oh, okay.You need something?”
