Page 75 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“Here’s the place to get one.Come on.”
They wandered around the carnival a bit, trying to gauge what Sebastian was in the mood for.Finally he settled on a pulled pork sandwich, and they parked their butts on a picnic table to eat as the Round Up twirled behind him.Occasionally Victor found Sebastian staring at him with a mixture of attraction and awe, and Victor couldn’t help but flush and hide a smile.It felt good to be admired, and Sebastian wasn’t hiding it all that well.In his baggy T-shirt and jeans, it was obvious Sebastian was still dressing to hide his body, and Victor felt a pang of empathetic understanding.He’d been through that same exact stage, especially before his top surgery.It was weird wanting to protect someone at the same time he wanted to kiss him.It was very different from how he felt around Johnny, which involved more wanting to punch him.
“God, I’ve needed this,” Sebastian said through a full mouth.“Hiding out in my apartment is not good for me.”
“Why haven’t you been out more?”
Sebastian shrugged.“Still struggling to make friends, I guess.And Grindr is such a shit show.I mostly use it to find other trans guys at this point.I have zero trust for cis men after my boyfriend dumped me.He told me he was cool with the whole trans thing, but I guess he changed his mind.”
“Huh, yeah, I’ve been through that.”
“Would have been nice to know before I moved across the country for him.”Sebastian swallowed down the last of the pulled pork sandwich.“Wanna play a carnival game?”
“Absolutely.”
They unwound their legs from the picnic bench and found a carnival game that involved shooting darts at targets.By some miracle, Victor was able to get one of the targets down, resulting in his pick of their smallest stuffed animals.Victor let Sebastian choose, and when Victor was given the stuffed raccoon, he handed it over to Sebastian.Sebastian curled his arms around it and gave it a firm hug before holding it up and making it give Victor a kiss on the cheek.
“Thanks,” Victor said with a laugh, and Sebastian followed it up with a kiss on the cheek of his own.When Victor turned to him, he flushed and giggled nervously.If there hadn’t been a crowd around them, Victor might have grabbed him and given him a proper kiss, but he remembered just in time they weren’t in the safest place for PDA.Still, he gave Sebastian what he hoped was a heated look, and Sebastian flushed even redder.
After eating their fill and having their fun at the carnival games, they made their way into the main arena where the rodeo was getting ready to start.It took them about twenty minutes to get to their designated seats, which weren’t very good but Victor had seen enough rodeos that he didn’t really care about seeing the action.Instead he and Sebastian chatted about their families, where they’d grown up, and what they were into.Sebastian had gone to college for music, but he’d struggled to find any work in that, so now he was just working at a warehouse making barely above minimum wage.By the time he’d told Victor all about that, the rodeo began.
Unlike the podunk rodeos back in small-town Oklahoma, this was the real deal.The horses were huge, and the purses were bigger.This was a rodeo for pros, including some of Johnny’s fellow competitors.Victor just hoped no one got irreparable head damage tonight, because it made for a poor date.
“I can’t believe anyone voluntarily does this,” Sebastian noted after the first rider was dumped six seconds into his ride.The drafty bay mare he’d been riding rocketed off, bucking until the flank strap was removed by a man on a horse.
“My friend did until he got his head kicked in,” Victor said.When Sebastian’s face fell, he clarified.“He’s alive.He just doesn’t do rodeo anymore.”
“How crazy is he?”
Victor laughed.“About as much as you’d expect.From what he’s told me, it gives you a thrill akin to a drug.It’s why he did it for so long.”
“You know they makedrugsnow, right?You can just take those.”
Victor let out a collective groan with everyone else as another horse dumped its rider.Watching this made him think of those videos of Johnny at events just like this, the way he’d settle down on a horse’s back in the shoot with the expression of a man about to dance with death.Johnnywascrazy, and so was Victor for finding it a little hot at the same time.
The rodeo lasted about three hours.In that time, Victor and Sebastian carried an easy conversation that never seemed too stilted or awkward, and overall Victor could say the date was a success.He offered Sebastian the chance to see his horse, and of course Sebastian agreed.When the rest of the crowd headed to the exit, Victor steered them the opposite direction, out of the arena and across the expanse between the stadium and the stables.There were some people working their horses in the practice ring, but for the most part the barn had gone quiet.Victor was happy to see that someone had fed and watered all the horses.
“So here he is,” Victor said, gesturing toward Blitz, who left his corner at the back of the stall to come check them out.“This is my stallion Blitz.”
With wide eyes, Sebastian reached out to touch Blitz’s nose.“Oh my God, he’s beautiful.”When Blitz wiggled his lip against Sebastian’s fingers, he yanked them back like he’d been shocked.“Does he bite?”
Victor chuckled.“No, he likes you.”
“Sorry, the only horses I’ve ever pet were the carriage horses at Central Park.”Sebastian reached back out, softly stroking Blitz’s forehead.
“You want in the stall?”
“Are you sure he won’t stomp on me or something?”
Victor tried to hide a smile and threw back the lock on the stall.“Come on.Inside.”
So Sebastian slunk into the stall, moving slowly like he was approaching a ferocious tiger.Victor closed the door behind them, then threw an arm over Blitz’s back to watch Sebastian lightly run his fingers down Blitz’s shiny copper mane.
“He’s so soft,” Sebastian said almost in a whisper.
Victor watched Sebastian pet him for a few seconds before he said, “Do you wanna sit on him?”
Sebastian took a moment to consider, then nodded.“Okay.How do I get on?”
