Page 51 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“Hey, Vic.”
Victor blinked in bewilderment, thoughts racing.
Johnny stepped closer, further into the light, though his cowboy hat kept much of his face in shadow.Still, it was hard to mistake him as anyone else, considering he was six-foot-three and had the type of stringy, lean build Victor had pretty much memorized.
“What are you doing here?”Victor asked.
“Uh, well…” Johnny cleared his throat, sounding unsure of himself.“I came with Sarah.You remember Sarah?”
“Your friend from high school?”
“Yeah, her sister’s… you know.Gay.So she asked if I wanted to come with her and I figured it might be fun.”
Victor stared at him, still too stunned for the information to sink in.When it did, the heart in his throat slowly started drifting back down into his chest.“Oh.So you’re not—I mean.This is just for Sarah’s sister.You know her?”
“She’s nice, yeah.She and Sarah are close.”Johnny paused, turning to stare out into the darkness for a moment.An announcer could be heard in the distance as the crowd clapped.“I guess this means you’re, uh—”
“Gay?Yeah.”It felt weird to say it out loud.After coming out as trans to his family back in California, he’d fallen out of practice with the act of talking about it.He’d been terrified of Johnny knowing, afraid that Johnny would reject him and the friendship they’d built over months would be reduced to rubble.A glimmer of hope spread through him, because even if Johnny was only here as some kind of straight ally for his friend’s sister, it meant that he could accept Victor for who he was, and Victor didn’t have to go through all the hoops required to hide it.
“I didn’t know that,” Johnny muttered.“You coulda told me.”
“I didn’t know how you felt about gay people,” Victor admitted.Should he also tell him he was trans?Maybe it was best to do one thing at a time, really test the waters before diving in.“This is rural Oklahoma.Can’t blame me for being paranoid.”
“I know I’m dumb white trash, but I ain’t no Bible thumper.It don’t matter to me.”
Victor let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.“That’s great.I’m glad to hear it.”
“I never even thought—I mean you don’t act—” Johnny cut himself off and cleared his throat again.“I ain’t about to put my foot in my mouth, but you know what I mean.”
Victor had to laugh a little.“I can be gayer, I’m just stealthy for safety reasons.”
Johnny turned toward the trailer, glancing toward the truck and then back.“This thing got livin’ quarters in it?”
“It’s just a small space, but yeah.”
Johnny’s response didn’t come immediately, but finally he faced Victor and asked, “Can I take a look?”
“Sure.I’ll show you.”
Victor rounded his horse and went to the front of the trailer where the living quarters were.The space came in handy for long multi-day shows when Victor didn’t want to get a hotel room.The space was only two short strides from one wall to the bed situated in the gooseneck portion of the trailer, but it came with a sink and a tiny separate room with a composting toilet and a shower.Victor had bought the trailer shortly after his move from Los Angeles back to his mother’s house, and it had taken him years to pay it off.But it had held up well, and he doubted he’d ever sell it unless an axle fell off.
When Johnny stepped into the space, what was already a tight fit became claustrophobic.He hadn’t expected Johnny to join him in the trailer, since it could pretty easily be seen in its entirety from outside.Considering Victor had parked near the back of the field and the rodeo was still ongoing, there wasn’t anyone around, so the only light was the one in the ceiling and the string lights around the bed on the gooseneck.
Victor became keenly aware of Johnny’s closeness, so he rambled about how nice it was to have a small microwave and refrigerator and how he kept a propane burner in one of the tiny cabinets so that he could always cook something on the go.
As much as he wanted to shut up, he couldn’t.Was Johnny straight?Had he been lying about attending with Sarah and her sister?They were nowhere to be found.Maybe Johnny had come by himself.Why was he standing so close?Fuck, he was tall.Victor was five-seven, which put him eye level with Johnny’s collar bone.It’d be so easy to just bury his nose in the V of skin exposed by the missing button of his grayish-green cotton shirt.Victor became so focused on it that he must have trailed off, because suddenly the space went eerily quiet.
Victor tipped his head back, daring to meet Johnny’s eyes for the first time.Johnny was staring at him, his expression unreadable.Again, his hat kept much of the light from reaching his face, but this close Victor should have been able to interpretsomething.What was he thinking?Was his mouth dry and sticky like Victor’s?
Victor jolted when Johnny’s hand grabbed a fistful of his shirt and shoved him back against the shoulder-high wall you had to climb to get to the bed in the gooseneck.Victor was equally shocked when Johnny’s mouth crushed against his, and he nearly pulled away to askwhat the hellbecause his mind was two steps behind his body.His body knew what to do though, because his hands instantly grappled at Johnny’s shirt before grabbing onto his belt from behind, which made for a good handle when Johnny was so quickly everywhere at once.The prickle of Johnny’s five o’ clock shadow against Victor’s lips sent a flood of desire from sternum to heel, and Victor was done being surprised.
He threw one arm around Johnny’s neck and smashed their mouths closer together, which Johnny responded to with equal force and enthusiasm by sliding one hand across Victor’s ass and grabbing a handful.Victor moaned in Johnny’s mouth and started yanking Johnny’s tucked shirt from inside his belt.The hand kneading Victor’s ass started to swing around to the front, and just before he could clasp onto Victor’s crotch, Victor’s brain pulled the fire alarm and ground every cognitive function to a halt.
Fuck.He hadn’t told Johnny about the trans thing, had he?
Victor reacted quickly and without thought, like he might to a bolting horse.He shoved Johnny back with enough force that his hand fell from Victor’s hip.As Johnny sputtered and started to protest, Victor went to his knees and turned every ounce of focus on pulling apart Johnny’s belt and the fly of his jeans.Johnny’s protest died instantly.He stepped away briefly from Victor’s grasp to pull the trailer door shut, granting them a bit of privacy.Then he knocked the hat off of Victor’s head, perhaps figuring it’d destroy the view.Victor’s concentration returned to getting Johnny’s jeans open.He did like to wear them tight, so it was no simple task.
Finally Victor was able to pull Johnny’s length from inside his briefs, and it looked so much like him that Victor understood for a moment why men liked naming their cocks after themselves.The thought nearly made him laugh, but again, there were more important tasks at hand.If he weren’t so desperate, he might have spent some time with Johnny’s dick before getting to theblowingpart, but he wanted to take Johnny as quickly to the finish line as he could manage.
