Page 130 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“What if it wasn’t?”Johnny said.His voice came across as confident, but Victor could sense the tension in his body, especially the way he clutched the edge of the table with white knuckles.He was terrified, but it was only evident in the twitch of his jaw.
Kayla’s mouth dropped open slightly, stopping somewhere between a smile and bewilderment.“You’re fuckin’ with me.”
“Does that sound like somethin’ I’d fuck around with?”
“I dunno.”The smile faded when it finally dawned on her that Johnny might be telling the truth.“Seriously?”
“I didn’t really come here to talk about it.”
“Fuck off.You can’t just say shit like that and change the topic.”
Johnny sank back against the booth, spine still rod straight.
“Johnny,” Kayla prodded.“What the fuck you on about?”
Victor tried to sneak a look at Johnny, but Johnny was staring ahead, as if afraid that a look in Victor’s direction might give them away.Like he hadn’t already done that.
Kayla turned to Victor.“Are you two datin’?”
Victor opened his mouth, but he turned to Johnny for confirmation.Johnny avoided his gaze entirely.If he wasn’t going to tell Victor not to, then Victor was going to.“Yeah.”
Kayla stared at him like he’d suddenly grown another head.Then she slowly turned to look at her brother.The silence stretched on, painful second after painful second.
Finally Kayla asked, “You’re gay?”
“No,” Johnny replied.
Kayla’s confusion prompted Victor to say, “Bisexual.”He cleared his throat and shifted in discomfort.“I’m gay though.”Because why not take the opportunity to make this more awkward?
Kayla went quiet again, and her expression was impossible to read.Johnny’s face was as closed off as ever.
“After all Daddy called you—” Kayla muttered.
“I’m goin’ outside,” Johnny blurted, trying to slide past Victor to escape the booth.But Kayla’s hand snapped out and grabbed his arm.
“Don’t you go runnin’ off.I ain’t finished.”
“If you’re gonna say somethin’ ignorant—”
“Goddamn it, Johnny, give me asecondto process this.”She inhaled sharply.“I didn’t mean to bring up Daddy, I just thought—well, I never thought you were actually—fuck.That makes it all worse.Why’d you never tell me?”
“Why the hell would I?I’ve only ever dated women.It wasn’t important.”
“I’m your sister, you fuckin’ idiot.You didn’t think I’d wanna know?”
“Not if you were gonna act mean about it.”
Kayla’s forehead puckered, and she looked apologetic.“Why would I do that?”
“You’re mean about everythin’ else,” Johnny muttered darkly.“You been mad at me for years for this thing or that thing.I didn’t wanna give you another reason to resent me.”
Kayla’s expression went on a journey from offended to sad, then back to offended.“I been mad at you for abandonin’ me and Mama.I ain’t mad that you’re ga—bisexual.Whatever.I’ve watched you date every floozy on this side of Oklahoma and to be honest your taste in women has annoyed me more than anythin’.I mean…” She trailed off and turned her eyes to Victor, and Victor quailed under her inspection.God help the man in the way of a southern-bred woman on a tear.“He seems better than Daisy by a mile.”
“He’s the reason I’m sober right now,” Johnny admitted, and Victor’s face burned with pleased embarrassment.
Kayla’s face finally softened, and she looked down at her hands, like she was searching for what she should say next.
“Wish you’d told me earlier,” she mumbled to the table.“I was wonderin’ why Vic was finding himself in all our drama.Not that you can’t have a ride-or-die friend, but this makes more sense to me.”
