Page 68 of The Only Seconds that Matter
Victor sucked in a sharp breath, resisting the urge to reach out, grab Johnny by the front of the shirt, and shake him until his keys and wallet fell out of his pockets.The man was as stupid as he was infuriating.“So you won’t consider a relationship with me but you’ll run back to a woman that cheated on you several times.”Victor let out a dismissive scoff.“Whatever, Johnny.Have fun pretending you’re heterosexual.Hope it’s all you’ve ever dreamed.”
Victor hopped up into the driver’s seat and moved to close the door.Johnny threw out a hand to catch it.For a second Victor struggled to rein in his rage and hurt, and Johnny must have seen it in his eyes, because he had the decency to look apologetic.
“This ain’t easy for me,” Johnny said, voice hushed.“You saw how I was livin’.I’m tryin’ to get my mind right, and Daisy’s been—this ain’t because I don’t—” He clenched his eyes shut a moment, like he was trying to pull himself together.“You don’t gotta be jealous.About Daisy, I mean.It’s not serious.”
“That is more offensive to me than if it was,” Victor shot back.“Clearly commitment is not your thing.”
“Goddamn it, Vic.What do you want from me?You wanted to be friends.We’re friends.If I knew you were gonna be so jealous—”
“It’s not that you’re fucking around, it’s the fact you have such little self-respect.You had a choice of anyone and you choseher.If you don’t think she’ll hurt you again—”
“And what if she does?Not many women in this lil town who want much to do with me.I ain’t some handsome guy with his own business and his life together like you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”Victor asked, jaw set.“She said you’ve been messing around since November.You’ve hidden this from me for a month and a half.”
Johnny frowned.“Do I gotta tell you everythin’ goin’ on in my life?Besides, I figured this is how you’d act, and I didn’t wanna argue about it.”
Victor stared at him a second, his mind churning through all the things he wanted to say and do.The realization that rose from the clutter was that there was no way this conversation would end in a way that would do their friendship any favors.Victorwasjealous, and it was clawing at every nerve that hurt the most.The man was saying all the wrong things with zero understanding of the pain he was causing.
Victor reached out, shoved Johnny back, and used the moment Johnny struggled to regain balance to slam his truck door shut.
“Vic!”Johnny said loud enough for Victor to hear him through the glass, but Victor didn’t want to hear anything else.He gunned his engine, so Johnny stepped back, allowing Victor to pull out of the parking spot.The last thing Victor saw was Johnny in his rearview mirror, arms in the air and shock written all over his face.
* * *
The four hour trip to Fort Worth was sedate.Jade was the only one riding with him; his clients and Johnny were driving their own cars down.They’d been up since four that morning loading horses and tack, so Jade fell asleep almost immediately once the drive started.Victor put on some older country music and watched the countryside roll past, occasionally checking the camera in the trailer to ensure the horses were comfortable.
His Grindr app chirped and he glanced down at the screen, glad that Jade was asleep.He’d given up on checking it regularly, but now he was closer to Fort Worth and Dallas, which meant more options.Because the road was straight and pretty empty, he decided to take the risk of looking away from the road and check out who had messaged him.For once, it wasn’t a headless shirtless man in his fifties.Instead it was an extremely cute twinky looking guy named Sebastian with tight dark curls, olive skin, and pretty brown eyes lightened by whatever bright window he was sitting in front of.Victor’s type tended to be a bit more rugged, but when he saw thetranspart of his bio, it made him much more interested.How long had it been since he’d been around another trans man?Thinking about it made him realize just how occupied he’d been lately with blending in with cis people.What would it be like to finally be himself around one of his own?His throat clogged up at the thought.Even if this didn’t turn into a sex thing, they could still hang out, right?
Victor decided to pull over to get gas.He closed the truck door lightly so as not to disturb Jade, then started filling up as he opened the messaging portion of the app.He looked at Sebastian’s opening message.
Never met a trans cowboy before!Are you a real cowboy or do you just wear the hat?No shade either way; it’s sexy.This message was followed by several heart emojis.
I’m on my way to Fort Worth for the stock show with some horses,Victor typed out, grateful for once that the first message wasn’t a request for nudes or an immediate hook-up.Not sure what makes a true cowboy, but I do ride.I’m a horse trainer.
Sebastian’s reply was instant.!!!!That’s so hot!!!
Victor laughed.In his defense, he’d had about four hours of sleep.
Sebastian continued,I’m from NYC but came to Fort Worth for a boyfriend.He’s now an ex-boyfriend but I’m still stuck here, trying to get back to the east coast.Doesn’t mean I can’t meet people in the meantime.I’ve only been here two months, but I hear the Stock Show is a big event.Isn’t there a rodeo and a parade?
Yeah, Victor replied.We’re riding in the horse show part, but we’ll probably attend the rodeo.
Who’swe?
Some clients, a student, and my assistant trainer.I am single.
Good to know.;)
The gas pump thunked as it finished filling.Victor put the hose back and walked to the trailer, where he was able to climb up onto the wheel well and look through a window in the trailer.The horses seemed settled and happy, so he made his way back to the truck, texting as he did so.
You interested in seeing the rodeo?We could make it a date.I’m not local so I’m not looking for anything serious, but it’d be fun to hang out for a night or two.Victor wasn’t typically so direct, but he really needed to be around someone who wasn’t Johnny for a bit, just to remember what it was like to have fun flirting.
I’d love to see the rodeo!Never been to a rodeo before.Lemme see about buying tickets.It’ll be nice to have a real cowboy to go with.;)Then, another message thirty seconds later.I’m also not looking for anything serious, as I’m trying to get back to NYC, but I’d love to hang out.This app is brutal for us t-boys.
Try living in the middle of nowhere, Victor replied.Then it’s really on hard mode.
Guess it means I’ll have to treat you extra special.<3
