Page 49 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“I ain’t perfect, but I wouldn’t lay a fuckin’ finger on her.I only hit grown ass men.Ain’t no way you’d get me to harm a hair on her head, and I don’t care what fuckin’ sassy shit she says to me.I’ve had horses kick my head in and I’ve never wished them harm.They’rehorses.They do horse shit.Children are gonna talk back and act fools, and if you can’t handle it, then that’s your problem.”
“Then you’d let her grow up a terror.”
“Daddy regularly beat my ass so hard I couldn’t walk for aweek, and where’d I end up, huh?I dropped outta school at sixteen.If I hadn’t had rodeo, I woulda been like all the losers you date, drunk and unemployed and beatin’ nine-year-old girls because I’m too much of a coward to throw hands with someone my own size.”
There was a short silence, and then Victor heard her boots on the porch.“I’m pickin’ up my daughter.You gonna stand in my way?”
For the first time, Johnny’s voice softened.“Kayla, that girl loves you.She looks to you to protect her.Once that trust is broken, you can’t get it back.”
Kayla didn’t respond immediately, but when she did, there was no longer an edge to her tone.“She knows how to push my buttons.”
“So did we.Daddy didn’t fix us, he only fucked us up.You gotta try somethin’ else.This family’s already been shaped by the belt, and it ain’t done a thing for us.”
Victor heard what sounded like a sniff, then a ruffle of fabric.Johnny’s voice was muttering something, but it was muffled.It sounded like they were hugging.Victor only heard snippets of what Kayla said.
“Don’t… like us…got so scared sometimes…”
“I know.”Johnny sighed.“We gotta try to do better.”
There was a pause, then Kayla asked, “Does What’s-His-Name know about all this?”
“Who?”
“The guy who owns the place.”
“Oh, Vic?Nah.Taylor told me about this before I dropped her off, and I thought she might need some time to decompress here.Vic did see me get into a fight with Mike, but I didn’t give him the details about why.”
“Thank God.”Kayla sniffed a few more times; it sounded like she’d been crying a bit.“I don’t want him thinkin’ I’m a terrible mother.Taylor really seems to love this place.She talks about it all the time.You should see her room.She’s covered it in pictures she’s drawn of Midnight.I feel like I should start payin’ him for all this babysittin’.”
Victor heard the approach of her boots, so he jumped to his feet and thanked his own common sense for taking his shoes off so that he didn’t make much noise as he sprinted for the armchair by the television.Just as he settled in, the door swung open and Johnny entered the house, followed by his sister.She was still wearing her Wal-Mart uniform.
Upon her entrance, the dogs laying on top of Taylor jumped up to greet her.This woke Taylor, who sat up yawning.When she saw her mother standing by the front door, she slid off the couch and ran to her for a hug.In response, Kayla wrapped both arms around her daughter and planted a kiss on the top of her head.
“Your mama wanted to apologize for all this,” Johnny said, squeezing Taylor’s shoulder.“She promises she ain’t gonna let it happen again.”With this, he threw a pointed look at his sister.
Kayla nodded, though she didn’t seem too sure about it.She pushed Taylor’s hair back off her forehead and forced a smile.“Let’s leave it in the past, okay?From now on, we’ll all try better to get along.”
“Okay,” Taylor replied with an enthusiastic nod.“Am I still allowed to come here and work with the horses?”
“Of course.That is, if it’s okay with… Vic, is it?”She winced when she looked at Victor.“Sorry, I’m bad with names.”
“Victor,” Victor confirmed, pushing himself out of the armchair.“And no worries, I love having her.I’m sure Midnight does, too.”
“Mama, can I give Victor a hug good-bye?”Taylor asked.
“Sure thing.”She released Taylor so that she could whip around and offer Victor the same embrace she’d given her mother.Victor chuckled and patted her head before she released him and craned her head back to look at him.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“Any time, kid.”
She released him and then followed her mother back outside.When the door closed behind them, Victor turned to Johnny.
“You get it figured out?”he asked.
“I hope so.”Johnny was still watching the door through which his sister and his niece had left.“Gave her somethin’ to think about at least.I told her you didn’t know nothin’ ‘bout this.It’s best that way.Don’t wanna give her a reason to stop lettin’ Taylor visit.”Johnny finally met Victor’s eyes.“She really does love this place.”
“That’s two of us then,” Victor replied with a weak smile.
