Page 39 of The Only Seconds that Matter
Skyler stared at him a moment, then rolled her eyes.“You’re such a man.Tell me what’s up.”
“Where’s Johnny?”
“Checking the bathroom for you.Don’t change the subject.Please tell me your mom didn’t call you or something.”
“No, it’s nothing.It’s just…” God, how could he even talk about this without sounding pathetic?But if he didn’t tell Skyler, there was no way he could tell anyone else.“You and Johnny seemed pretty close.”
Again, Skyler waited a moment before responding.“Isthatwhat this is about?You’rejealous?”
“Fucking forget it,” Victor muttered, twisting around to head for the cab of his truck.Skyler grabbed his shirt and kept him there.
“Me having a good time with another man doesn’t mean anything.I’ve been trying to enjoy myself.Isn’t that the whole point of doing this?”
“Yeah sure.”
“So what’s the issue?”
“Because you as a married woman can do more shit in public with a man than I ever could,” Victor blurted, bristling with anger.
“How is that my fault?”
“It’s not your fault!I’m just not happy about it.”
“I could go up to Johnny right now and ask him if he’s into dudes.I’d do that for you if you wanted me to.I’m the perfect one to do it because I’m leaving tomorrow, so it’s no skin off my back if he reacts badly.Your problem is that you never want to let anyone else handle anything.”
“What if he said no?Even worse, what if he freaked out and said some homophobic shit?He’s the only real friend I’ve made since moving here.I don’t want to start over with nothing.”
“If he freaks out and says some homophobic shit, then he’s not worth your time anyway.”
Victor had no response to that.He just knew he couldn’t let Skyler ask.He was too terrified of the answer, because it’d almost certainly be one he didn’t like.
“You’re in love with him,” Skyler said matter-of-factly.“Your face says more than you think it does.”
“You are not as observant as you think you are.”
“Between the two of us, you were always the more boy-crazy one.I was there when you crushed on Gabriel Estrada at thirteen.I know the look.”
God, he’d never livethatone down.Gabriel had been a twenty-two-year-old stable hand his mother had hired for part-time work, and Victor used to watch him from inside of a horse stall and daydream about kissing him.Nevermind that Victor had been a scrawny thirteen-year-old who went mute with terror every time Gabriel saidhello.Thankfully he never knew he had a pre-teen fan, and he left for college the next year.
“I don’t blame you for liking him,” Skyler continued.“He’s very charming, and you’ve always liked boys on the country side.”
Victor rubbed at the pavement with the sole of his boot.“We’re just friends.”
“I’ve never met anyone so dedicated to their own unhappiness as you are.You could have a shot if you were willing to take it.He seems to like you.”
“I wish I were brave like you.”
“Ha.”Skyler sank back against the truck beside him, her arm rubbing against his.“I’m hardly any braver.”She stared at his profile a few seconds before sighing.“If I were brave, I would have told you that I had a crush on you for like two years.”
Victor whipped around to face her.“What?”
“Right after you cancelled the wedding, I spent a few years in Ireland, remember?When I came back, I barely recognized you.You were, like, a whole assman.It felt awkward at the time.You were my best friend but also this strange new person.I remember you were at my place and I was struggling to open this can of pickles and you came over and popped it right open like it was nothing.That was when I was likewhoa.”
“The true measure of a man is how well he can open a jar of pickles,” Victor joked.
Skyler chuckled, staring at her feet.“I knew you were only interested in men, so I didn’t see any point in bringing it up.It’d only make things awkward.But the crush was real, at least until I went back to Ireland and met Liam.”
Victor hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary in their relationship back then.Then again, he wasn’t very good at noticing these things.
