Page 139 of The Only Seconds that Matter
Johnny’s expression turned sad.“Maybe.I don’t know.I was really out of control.”He huffed in exasperation.“Don’t wanna spend much time worryin’ about it now.I think you’re worryin’ about everything enough for the both of us.”
“No kidding.”Victor pulled the marshmallow away from the fire, blew on it for a second, then tried to bite it off the stick.It ended up smeared all across his face, and Johnny laughed as Victor attempted to wipe it off.To Victor’s surprise, Johnny grabbed his face and wrapped his lips around the tip of Victor’s nose, licking it clean.
“Very weird, but thank you,” Victor said with a laugh.
“Oh, I’ll eat your ass but lickin’ your nose is too weird for ya?”
Now Victor laughed harder.“Well, when you put it that way…”
Johnny grabbed a fistful of Victor’s shirt and yanked him into a kiss.Victor hadn’t predicted it, but he didn’t fight the contact.He wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck, returning the kiss knowing they had the luxury of time.It went on longer than it usually did without escalating, until the kiss naturally ended.
“What was that for?”Victor asked with a smile.
“Needed to buy myself a little time to do this,” Johnny said, pulling further back until Victor’s gaze was drawn toward his hands.In them, he held a little black box, and in that was a gold ring.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Victor blurted.“Is this a joke?”
“Figure I should make an honest man of you after knockin’ ya up,” Johnny joked, though his mouth kept twitching like it couldn’t decide between a smile or something else.“Wanna get married?”
Victor stared, speechless.Considering the fact that Johnny’s sister had never married despite her four children, Victor had assumed it really wasn’t something Johnny was interested in.You couldn’t really pretend to be roommates once that knot was tied.Then again, it was hard to explain away a baby, too.Maybe Johnny figured that as long as there was a child in the picture, he might as well suck it up and make the commitment.
“If you turn me down…” Johnny began.
“Of course not, idiot.I’m just—yes.Yes, definitely.I’d love to get married.Before or after the baby?”
“Whatever you wanna do.We could elope to Vegas tomorrow and I’d be cool with that.”Johnny pulled the ring from its box and held it up to Victor.“Try it on and make sure it fits.”
Victor did so.It was a little big, but it could probably be adjusted.After staring at it a few seconds, Victor tossed his arms around Johnny and yanked him into another kiss.
“Kinda like the idea of eloping,” Victor said after pulling back a few inches.“I don’t think weddings are all they’re cracked up to be.”
“Yeah, it ain’t like I have many people to invite anyway.”
“I could change our flight.We really could go to Vegas.”
“Really?You’re serious?”
Victor pressed his forehead to Johnny’s, relishing the contact and closeness.“I’m serious.”
Again, Johnny kissed him, then swallowed him up into a tight hug.“You crazy sonuvabitch, let’s do it.I’m gonna be a fatheranda husband by next year.”
“I wonder what Taylor will think.”Right after the pregnancy test came back positive, Victor had decided it was time to tell Taylor the truth about himself.At eleven, he figured she was old enough to understand it.To his surprise, she already knew what transgender meant.When he asked how the hell she’d learned about it, she told himthe internetwith a roll of her eyes.
“What do you think about me being transgender?”Victor had asked.
Taylor took a moment to think, then shrugged.“It’s fine.”
Fine.That was what he spent months agonizing over.Children really were something else.But it was probably the best reaction he could have hoped for.He hadn’t proceeded to tell her that he was pregnant, because he didn’t want to hit her twice with shocking news.He figured he’d let her know when he got back to Oklahoma.Over the next few days after Victor’s coming out, Taylor had peppered him with questions that coming from anyone else might have put him on the offensive, but he knew Taylor didn’t mean anything by it.What was your girl name?What happened to your boobs?How’d your voice get low?How come you grow a beard now?He hadn’t gone into much detail, but Taylor would probably be hitting puberty in the next few years, so maybe she’d understand it better by then.
“She’ll probably get jealous she ain’t the sole focus of our attention,” Johnny said with a grin.
“Sounds likely.”
“But she’ll be happy if we get married.She’s been telling me I should.”
“Really?”
“Can’t wait for her to turn 14 and care more about boys than she does our life.”
