Page 124 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“Came with a lot of baggage though.”
“I’m sure there were good memories, too.”
Johnny’s throat bobbed.“Yeah.My mama… she used to sit on the couch and crochet lil sweaters for all the babies in the family while she watched those terrible soap operas.When she ran outta babies, she started makin’ sweaters for dogs at the local pound.”Johnny’s voice hitched as he struggled to keep it steady.“She was a sweet lady, my mama.She didn’t deserve the way Daddy treated her.”
Victor carded his fingers through the hair on the back of Johnny’s head, listening.
“I feel real bad I wasn’t around so much when she got sick.I wanted to make enough money so I wouldn’t have to live the way I grew up.But joke’s on me, I guess.All that time and work and now I literally got nothin’ to show for it.A whole fuckin’ life… gone with the fuckin’ wind.”His breath stuttered, and Victor slid his arm fully around his shoulder, drawing him in close.Instead of pulling away like Victor half-expected, Johnny curled up into him like a babe in search of warmth and started to sob.Victor’s grip tightened, closing any space left so that Johnny could cry into Victor’s chest.Both of Johnny’s arms wound around Victor’s waist, grasping two fistfuls of Victor’s shirt.His weeping was ugly and violent, but Victor held him through it, petting his hair and peppering init’ll be okayin whenever he could, except it came out astodo estará bien, mi cielobecause it felt more loving that way.
Johnny’s weeping faded, but he stayed wrapped around Victor for a few minutes.By that time, his tears and other fluids had made a noticeable wet spot on the front of Victor’s shirt.You couldn’t spend a lot of time around horses unless you could handle a bit of snot and spit, so Victor’s shirt had seen worse.He didn’t release Johnny or speak until Johnny pushed himself straight.
“Gotta blow my nose,” Johnny muttered, then reached out for the tissues on Victor’s coffee table.He used a few, then stood to go throw them out.Victor remained on the couch, unsure of what to do next.Piper was fast asleep on the rug, but Bailey stood and wandered over in hopes of being invited onto the couch with him.Victor gave Bailey a rub behind the ears until Johnny returned to the couch.
Johnny flopped down on the opposite end of the couch, face flushed and eyes swollen.“Sorry about losing it.Been a long time since that happened.”
“I understand.It’s okay.”
Johnny sniffed, wiping at his eyes with a sleeve.“Been cryin’ like a little girl.”
“Johnny.”The stern tone of Victor’s voice made Johnny finally look at him.“It’sokay.”
Johnny nodded, still sheepish.“So… you said I can stay the night?”
“You can stay as long as you need.”
“Okay.Um.Should I sleep in the guest room or on the couch or…?”
Victor sighed and got to his feet, gently nudging Bailey back.“Really?You think I’m going to make you sleep on the couch?”
Johnny met Victor’s gaze, then nodded.“Right.Okay.”
“I’m going to brush my teeth.Make yourself at home.”
Victor spent longer than he needed in the bathroom, just to give Johnny time to get settled in.After brushing his teeth and changing into an old pair of gym shorts, he found Johnny laying on the bed facing the opposite wall, wearing only his boxer briefs.Piper and Bailey had joined him on the bed, and Johnny was slowly petting Piper’s face in a way that seemed more comforting to Johnny than Piper.She licked his arm, then attempted to lick his face.He let out a little snorting laugh before pushing her aside.
Victor went to the bed and climbed up behind Johnny.Johnny stiffened, then looked behind him.His eyelids were still red and puffy, even though his tears had dried up.
“Let me know if you need me to turn the air conditioning up,” Victor said, settling in.“I grew up in the desert so I keep things warmer than some people like.”
“It’s fine.”
“Can you turn the lamp off?”
Johnny sat up to do so, dousing them all in darkness.Victor rolled onto his side and started dozing off before he felt the bed shift.A moment later, Johnny’s forehead was pressed up against the back of his neck.
With a sigh, Victor reached back and drew Johnny’s arm up over his waist, locking their fingers together over Victor’s belly button.Johnny scooted in closer, their legs braided together.Johnny had slept over plenty of times, but Victor didn’t think Johnny had ever voluntarily cuddled in this way or sought physical comfort without it resulting in sex soon after.Victor didn’t realize how much he’d yearned for this until he finally got it, and now his heartbeat wildly with joy.It was probably the wrong time to feel so happy considering all that had happened, but maybe this is what it took to make Johnny realize they needed each other.
* * *
Victor woke to someone rubbing his upper arm.With a groan, he rolled onto his back, finding Johnny hovering over him.
“I gotta go to work,” Johnny murmured.
Victor squinted in the dim dawn light filtering through the curtains.“You can’t go to work.You just lost your house.”
“Boss is gonna want me at work.”
“Tell your boss to fuck himself.”
