Page 52 of Trial By Fire
"How do you know? You're the one who told me to be useful that first day on the way home from the hospital, and then you turned around and offered to stay here. You're doing all the stuff I could be doing so he'll need me and want me to stay."
“Whoa. Hold up. I said no such thing,” Lindsey argues softly. “Don’t put words in my mouth. What I said was that just because your arrival wasn’t planned, you wouldn’t be forgotten as things were sorted out.”
I can't handle listening anymore, and I stretch out my hand to push the door open. It squeaks and alerts the two of my presence, and I swing myself into Mads's room, not stopping until I'm standing beside Lindsey, where she sits on the side of Madi's bed. The bedside light is on, and I can see that Mads has cried so hard her eyes are swollen. It guts me.
How long has Lindsey been in here? How long did Madi cry while I slept?
Madi quickly swipes at her eyes and sits up, looking everywhere but at me and acting as though she's ready to go to war. "Listen up, Mads," I say, my tone harsher than I intend because of the anger I feel toward Pam. "I don't want you here because of what you can do for me. You got that?"
My niece bites her lower lip and looks up at me with spiky lashes, a red nose and swollen eyes that look far too knowing.
"Mads, you're my family and you're welcome here because I love you. Yes, I appreciate you pitching in around the house and with Dani, because that's what family does. Yes, it's expected of you because we all need to carry our own weight and help, because that's another thing family does. I'm not going to kick you out. Honey, I'm proud of you. Despite what your mom's done, you're working a job and you're so sweet to Dani. I may have been drugged, but I saw you at the hospital after my accident. Patting Dani and comforting her when she was freaked out and upset about my injuries and me dying. I can never thank you enough for that."
"That's why you got me the Vespa?" Madi asks in a small voice.
"No, kiddo. I got you that so you have your own wheels to get to work and because— Because you deserve it, and we all need something of our own to take care of. I thought you'd like something you could use here on the island."
"I do. I love it." Madi swipes at her eyes again and nods before adding, "Thank you. I can't wait to ride it for real."
Being able to ride it for real means getting official paperwork done, and that is something I can't keep putting off. "We'll work on that. So you good, Mads?"
"Yeah," she says softly. "I'm good."
"You sure?"
She nods, but a frown pinches her face, and she looks away from me. "Yeah, but…what happens when my mom comes back? You got me this nice thing, but…if she does, I should leave the Vespa here. She'll just hock it."
My heart squeezes at her words. "We'll come up with something. Okay? No more worrying. We'll get this figured out."
Mads sits up and lunges into my arms, giving me a hug. I squeeze her tight and feel the way doing so eases some of the tension loosening her rigid muscles. "I've got you, kiddo. Just…give me time."
She nods but doesn't say anything. I feel her hesitation, though.
Madi isn't the only one afraid of hope. Because hope has a way of making the fall hurt a lot worse when you get it wrong.
And that? That's something Lindsey and I have both already learned.
Chapter 22
Lindsey
I spend a few hours Saturday afternoon during her slow time at the bookstore going over wedding ideas with Bronwyn, and every ribbon, flower and seating decision reminds me of how far my own life is from unsettled.
My mind shifts to last night's conversation with Madi and Kace, and my heart squeezes, remembering the girl's heartbreaking question.
Kace looked taken aback, and he asked for time, but then he countered by asking if she'd like for him to check into guardianship. He explained that it would mean filling out paperwork, going to court, and probably having a few home visits from Child Protective Services.
She went quiet, so Kace ended the discussion by simply telling her to think about it and to let him know.
We said goodnight to Madi, and then I practically raced to my bedroom before Kace could point out our kiss was a mistake.
Again.
I got it. I don't need him to say it over and over.
"Are you feeling okay? I'm sorry. I'm going on and on about the wedding stuff, and I haven't even asked how you're feeling," Bronwyn says, concern pulling her eyebrows over her nose.
"I'm fine. It was a rough night."
