Page 5 of Trial By Fire
I sniffle and accept the offering, dabbing at the tears and my runny nose. "I just got an email from him asking if I've gotten rid of the problem."
Zoey winces on my behalf.
"Yeah, he's that guy. Not only did he lie and pretend to be single, but he already has kids and doesn't want another one."
"Well, legally, what he wants and what his responsibilities will be are very different."
I shake my head firmly. "No, I want nothing from him. I don't want him in my life at all. I just… I'm just not sure how I'm going to do this on my own. It's more than the money aspect—though that's no small thing. I've never really been around kids or babysat them. And going home means facing him and the questions from my work, and—I'm just not sure I can do it. Bronwyn knows, and she says I can stay here but…"
"But?"
I manage to suck in a breath. "She's already been through so much. And she and Gabe… I don't want to interfere in their relationship or be a burden. They deserve this special time as a couple. I'm just a little overwhelmed trying to figure out my next steps."
"What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Of course you're overwhelmed. That is a lot to consider. Not only are you dealing with pregnancy hormones but thinking of a move? Where are you from?"
"California."
"A cross-country move then," Zoey says, frowning.
Coast-to-coast. When I think of the logistics—I can't breathe again. Do I fly back and drive my car here? Sell my car and buy another? What about my clothes? Furniture? I'll have to find a new doctor and dentist. And a place to live and?—
"Hey, breathe, Lindsey," Zoey says in her soothing voice. "One step at a time. You don't have to do everything all at once. How about I help you come up with a plan? Hmm? Would having a list ease the pressure?"
I fist the tissue like an anchor and force myself to think. "I don't know. I…guess a list would be the start."
"Great. Here, let's use this. It helps to physically write stuff down on paper." She pulls the napkin tucked around her coffee cup and flattens it on the table, then takes the pen from the lanyard around her neck. "This is in no order. We're just writing down what needs done so that it's contained and not running rampant through your head and overwhelming you. Okay?"
"Okay," I say, swallowing hard.
I can do this. I can be a single mom. Start over. Move across the country.
I can do this.
Starting over sounds good in theory. But in reality?
I can't even see the first step.
Chapter
Two
Kace
Words can't describe how much I hate being laid up like this. I hate the pain meds and the way they make me feel. I hate the fact I can't get out of this bed without help and am forced to endure sponge-baths and urine bottles. But more than anything, I hate the fact that when the girls think I'm not paying attention, I see the looks they exchange.
It's mostly Dani looking to Madi for reassurance, and I'm thankful my niece has enough sense and kindness to smile or wink or make a funny face whenever my baby girl seems freaked out by my injuries.
But I see the fear on both their faces, and I hate that I'm the cause. "You okay, kiddo? Do you have any questions for me?"
Dani blinks up at me all wide-eyed, and I melt. She had me wrapped around her finger before she ever made it into this world, and nearly seven years later? I'd dance on my head if I had to in order to get her to smile.
And right now, there's no smile in sight.
"Are you really okay, Daddy?"
"I'm really okay." It was touch and go there for a while on the operating table when the docs were trying to set my leg and treat the burns. But I'm on the other side of that now, barring infection.
"You don't look okay."
