Page 47 of Trial By Fire
The loud noise startles me, and I jerk back, ending our contact, wide-eyed and totally bamboozled by what had just happened.
Dani's "Oh, no!" and giggles from the living area sound, and I realize one of the balloons has popped. And that they're back inside the house. Mere feet away.
All of them.
Bronwyn says something about the confetti.
Gabe says…something. I don't know. I don't care. I just?—
"Lindsey…"
All I can do is stare up at Kace, torn between the reality of my situation and wanting to chuck it all and kiss him again. And maybe a few more times for good measure.
"Lindsey, I'm sorry," he says in a low voice, looking wrecked. "I shouldn't have done that. I regret— I made a huge mistake."
He looks angry and contrite and just as shook as I am.
"It won't happen again. I'm sorry, sweet—" He breaks off. "Lindsey, I'm sorry. That was a mistake. It won't happen again."
Sorry. Such a simple word for something so big and meaningful. To take a beautiful thing and make it ugly and hurtful. But I've been down this road before, haven't I? I've already been someone's regret. And I have enough self-esteem left to get mad at always finding myself here. "It's fine. I mean, it's not fine, but—we should go in there with the others."
"Lindsey," he says in that growly, decadent voice no man should have.
"It was just a kiss," I say breezily. "Forget it ever happened. I have." I nod to prove just how unbothered by him and his words I am and then sidle by him and practically run from the kitchen, a wide, fake smile pinned to my trembling lips.
Because, really. It was just a kiss.
Between two adults.
Friends.
Just a brief lapse of judgment.
A moment now lost to the chaos of the day and the fact I cannot be the woman that catches feelings for a man while carrying another man's baby. Especially when he's technically my boss and my home.
I refuse to make the same mistake twice.
An hour later, the girls' party is in full swing. Well, as much as it can be with mostly all adults in attendance at a child's and teen's birthday party. Dani's little friend is as adorable as she is. It's the same little girl from the day Dani broke the rules and lost her bike privileges, and the two are inseparable as they play. Giggles abound throughout the house, bringing smiles to the adults' faces from the sheer sweetness of it.
My mind is racing from the aftermath of Kace's kiss and his immediate regret. I'm trying hard not to be hurt by the instantaneous flipping of the off switch post-kiss, but even though I understand why he regrets kissing me… Yeah, it stings.
Because it was a kiss. A really good kiss. The kind that make first kisses memorable in a good way, not a bad one. Scale of one to ten? Twenty. Easy-peasy oh-so pleasy.
Except now? Our first kiss is both good in that it was everything a first kiss should be—and horrifically bad in how it ended.
I'm determined to muddle through, though. I have a party to host, and thankfully the nausea doesn't seem to be as bad right now. So I'm going to enjoy myself while I can.
We sing "Happy Birthday" to Dani and Madi and watch as they blow out their candles, cheering and clapping.
"Daddy, want to know my wish?" Dani asks.
I watch as Kace smiles at his precocious little girl, and my heart trips before I give myself a good scolding. We are not doing that.
"Sure. What's your wish?"
Dani turns her precious little face toward me and grins.
"I wished Lindsey could live with us forever!"
