Page 99 of The Grumpy Defenseman
“About Seattle?”
“About here. About what happens next.”
She held still.
“I am going to tell him Seattle is not the answer just because it is the biggest number. I am going to tell him to start with San Antonio and see what is still there.”
The words sounded different outside my head.
Truer.
Sam stared at me like she did not trust herself to speak yet.
So I kept going.
“Not because the window closed. Not because Lena told me what I wanted. And not because of you.”
A small line appeared between her brows.
I stepped closer.
“Because I want this city. I want my team. I want my sister’s kitchen and my nephew’s bad architecture. I want the room that knows me even when I am being impossible.”
Her eyes shone, but she did not look away.
“And yes,” I said, quieter now. “I want you in that life. But I am not making you the reason I stay. That would be too much weight to put on you, and it would give me a way to blame you if I got scared later. I am choosing San Antonio because it is home.”
Her breath came out unsteadily.
“Evan.”
“I want you,” I said. “But not halfway. Not hidden in files. Not guessed at. Not turned into something easier because the real thing is hard to hold.”
She blinked once, and a tear slid down her cheek.
She looked annoyed by it.
That felt right.
“I don’t want halfway either,” she said.
“Then don’t give me halfway.”
“I won’t.”
“And I won’t disappear whenI am scared.”
Her expression softened in a way that made my chest hurt.
“That sounds difficult for you.”
“It sounds terrible.”
She gave one quiet laugh.
The sound loosened something between us.
Enough to let air in.
