Page 121 of The Grumpy Defenseman
And I stood there with my camera bag, my place beside a man whohad chosen me openly, and the San Antonio sun streaming through the lobby windows.
For the first time in three years, I felt something clean.
Not triumph. Not the vindication of proving that I could survive another public exposure without breaking.
Pride.
The grounded and unperformable kind. The kind that lived in your bones and did not need an audience. The kind that came from knowing exactly who you were and choosing to say it out loud.
My phone buzzed.
I did not need to look to know.
Bella: I have been INFORMED. By MULTIPLE SOURCES. That my best friend just publicly claimed a professional hockey player in a HALLWAY.
Bella: I am so proud of you I could CRY.
Bella: I am NOT crying. I do not cry.
Bella: I’m a little bit crying.
I smiled at my phone like an idiot. Shouldered my bag.
And walked out into the San Antonio afternoon with my name attached to something real for the first time since I had stopped trusting the world with the truth of me.
Evan
Sunday night, I picked Sam up at seven.
Not a driveway. Not a family porch. Not a house loud enough to make my nervous system start negotiating terms.
Downtown.
That was what she had asked for when I texted her that morning.
Sam: Take me somewhere that feels like San Antonio.
I stared at the message for three full minutes, because that was a dangerousamount of responsibility to put in the hands of a man whose idea of planning usually involved ice time and knowing which gas stations had decent coffee.
But I knew one place, because every time I had driven past it after a late game, it looked like the city was still awake and not apologizing for it.
She was waiting outside her building when I pulled up, wearing a black dress, low boots, and a jacket she did not need but had probably chosen because it made the outfit look less like she had planned to ruin my concentration.
It did not work.
She opened the passenger door and got in.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi.”
Her eyes moved over my face, quick and practiced. “You look nervous.”
“I’m driving downtown with a woman who asked me for atmosphere.”
“That does sound difficultfor you.”
“I’ve faced easier penalty kills.”
