“You’re thinking too loud.”
“I’m always thinking.”
“Talk to me.”
I hesitate.
Then I say it, voice raw. “What if I become something I can't come back from?”
Leah pulls back just enough to look at me. “You’re afraid you’re already that thing.”
I don’t answer.
She brushes hair from my forehead, thumb grazing a scar I don’t even remember getting.
“Monsters don’t worry about being monsters, Kalev.”
I close my eyes.
“I’ve killed people. Not just combatants. Civilians. Collateral.”
“I know.”
“They were in the way.”
“And you still remember them. That’s the point.”
I turn my face toward hers. “You make me want to stop running from what I’ve done.”
“You make me want to stop hiding from who I am.”
We lie there in the quiet, not touching now, but not apart.
I feel it—unspoken but loud as war drums. The bond. Not just bodies. Not just timing. This thing between us has teeth.
I reach for her hand.
She laces her fingers with mine.
We don’t say love.
But it’s in the silence.
In the way I memorize the line of her throat, the rise of her ribs, the soft curl of her lips when she finally falls asleep.
I watch her for a long time.
Then I whisper a promise to the dark.
“I’ll protect you.”
Even if I have to protect her from me.
CHAPTER 20
LEAH
It starts small.